Silly people holding on to this world - yes, your daddy's one of them sometimes

I posted about you in a response on Youtube today. Pastor J.D. Farag, in one of his prophecy updates, said Elijah was possibly offered the chance to really keep doing a great work in Israel or go up in this chariot of fire to Heaven. And I thought othought of how I always sense you saying how silly your Daddy is for choosing this world over what you're in now.

I don't need to mention more about him, I would imagine you've met his daughter already. Although, how does that work? With all those people up there, maybe you don't meet everyone right away. Or maybe "meet" doesn't apply if you automatically know people, or maybe you're so busy playing and conversing aboutg all the wonderful thigns it's like a coupe small children who can play for hours and not ask each other's names. Because to them, it's just not important. The joy of the moment is.

I know what you're going to say. "It's a surprise, Daddy!" I can't wait for that big surprise. And yet, after a while I found myself following the weird baseball season of 60 gams this year, hoping they'd manage to get it all in. I've found myself wanting to see just how bad the NFC East can get or some of the other fun stuff about sports, though I am cutting back on that pretty much. I haven't enjoyed the NFL much ever since Rick got sick and later died of cancer, which I mentioned in an earlier post. So, my love for sports is less. I even got to the point where I didn't midn if we got raptured before the Cubs finally won a World Series.:-) (And, of course they did it against my Indians.)

We all have things we cling to that God tries to get us to loosen our grip on. NOt that He can't rapture someone who is holding on to something, but it'll be a lot tougher for that individual. Just like when Uncle Tom passed, he naturally started letting go of a lot of things, and a month before he died, I told him he was going to get to see you and have an ice cream social upon entering Heaven, to which he replied "I know." (That was about the last thing he ate bits of, often saying "Kids all scream for ice cream.") It was so cool how a couple nights before he died, instead of his by then really weak voice my mom's cousin heard him in his normal voice, though she could only make out the name "Bill" - his oder brother - and "I'm good" like someone had asked if he needed more ice cream. :-) Okay, I know that probably wasn't it but who knows. (Well, you probably do, you were probably there, I asked Jesus to let you. :-) But I also know you'll just tell me you can't say because it's a surprise.

Sorry, I'm getting off topic here. I guess that's good in a way, I do have most of my sights set on Heaven. It's just so hard now with the pandemic because we can't just go door to door witnessing, though I do hand out tracts at times, and people take them. Our senior pastor at my church was in the hospital with covid andpneumonia in fact, and he's only in his early 50s. His wife and a couple other staff members had it, too.

But, the great thing is, we can still pray. And, people are still trusting Jesus to save them. I may get a little silly here because I imagine what it's like to be there in Heaven. But, the good thing is, it inspires us to want to share the Gospel with others when we have our eyes set on Jesus.

It's so simple for someone to get to Heaven, and yet people make it so complex. It's as easy as ABC -

Admit you're a sinner, that you fall short of God's standard of perfection, and don't deserve to go to His perfect Heaven.

Believe Jesus Christ, God in flesh, died to take the punishment for your sins and rose from the dead, and that what He did was all that was needed to get you to Heaven.

Call on Jesus to save you from your sins, Confess that you are a sinner in need of a Saviour and Choose to let Jesus forgive you and come to live in you and make you new inside.

A person cando that right now, praying something simple like this but believing with their whole heart as they pray. "Lord Jesus, I know I'm a sinner. I don't deserve your perfect Heaven, but I know you died for my sins and rose from the dead. YOu took the punishment I deserved so I could be saved from my sins. I call on you to save me and forgive me of all my sins, come live in me and make me new inside. I believe you have saved me not by any work I have done but through your shed blood ont he cross. I confess you as my Saviour today, and believe you have written me in your Book of LIfe. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I hope many will read this, and they will copy it for many others. I pray even after the rapture it'll be available. Because there will be so many missing loved ones.

I pray we will see justice done on this earth still, becasue I want to see God glorified. But, at the same time, I know that He knows what will bring HIm glory. And, He may be ready to judge this whole world. I don't know.

I just know I look forward to seeing you and celebrating all that God has done. Becasue His perfect Heaven is so much greater than we can imagine here.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy

Another blissful dream, and praying for Bob

Dear Sweetheart,

Last night was another of those which reminds me how wonderful it'll be - and how much joy you're having while we struggle down here.

I dreamed I was jogging laps in my backyard - it had elements of mine and my grandparents', not uncommon in dreams. One of those like mine was how bumpy, with many little hills and things, it had. And, you were peacefully swinging on a swingset there; I don't know it got there but that's how things appear in dreams. (It looked different than the one in my grandparents' yard.)

You looked a bit different from that other dream, but that's understandable - whenever I wonder anything about you I always imagine you saying, "It's a surprise, Daddy." And, you made a comment about how you know we can't pet animals because of the virus- and you said animals like lions and bears and such. Of course, there are other reasons we can't pet wild animals like lions, too, right now :-). But,it was just like a normal random comment from a kid. And, I remarked about how when we get to Heaven we can pet all the animals we want.

I may have mentioned Bob before. He is not the kind to want to walk up to a lion and pet it. Okay, I don't know many who would, but the important thing is, he does love the city he lives in and the night life and the fancy architecture and all the fun stuff that's closed down because of the virus. It's doubly hard on him, I imagine, becasue he turns 50 today.He needs prayer. He may have faced some serious trauma. I know he was robbed at gunpoint around 30 years ago. There may have been bullying in college - this stuff didn't appear before - or something I was unaware of. And, while my mom said to ignore the robbery so it didn't bring back bad memories, he may have been hurting so badly. I did refuse to talk about sports and other thigns around him becasue I knew he was traumatized by them. (He wasn't bothered by them in school, but after a couple years of college, he actually ducked down in the car when my parents and I drove past a stadium where I went to college, which was a different one. That's not the action of someone who doesn't like sports - it's possible some bullies jumped him behind one.)

 I hope he isn't still feeling the effects of PTSD or whatever it was, times like this can cause someone to have flashbacks if they're not careful. Or even if they are.

I'm sure Bob's frustrated - I won't get into it all here, but he couldn't stop himself from being vulgar after that even when I implied in a way school Bob would understand that I felt unsafe and encouraged him with now polite everyone else was there. He's the only person who ever refused to understand and help me. It didn't happen often, and I'm sure he's better now, but this virus is causing so many people problems. And, for someone who never liked the outdoors like him, there are few ways to escape all the problems.

God can give him that peace, though. It may not be as blissful as it seemed to be for you in that dream, and as wonderful as Heaven is for you. That's why it's Heaven - it's so much better than here because there can be no sin, no pain, no suffering. NOthing bad can happen to us there. And, God will wipe away every tear.

But, a relationship with Jesus Christ can give us peace that passes understanding when we trust in Him to help us. It can free us from worries about things. God will keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him.(Is. 26:3) He is called Prince of Peace, in fact, as though Peace were a place and He the ruler of it. When we flee HIm into the darkness, we might get a false peace through some substance or our own efforts, but that will always be a failure. Only Jesus can give it to us so it lasts, so we know no matter what happens, we will be safe in Heaven if not here. And, He will get us through the hard times here, too.

I can imagine for someone who prefers the kind of fun Bob does, this is so painful. He is such a wonderful architect, yet to my knowledge he doesn't know the one who made him so fabulously, who created this amazing world. Yes, there is sin in it - there is disease and such, too. But, that is a result of man contaminating the world through evil choices. God wants us to choose to follow HIm, He doesn't want us to be mindless robots.

So, someone like Bob, whether or not he has some kind of peace now, is someone I pray for. It hurts that he doesn't know that peace that passes understanding, and I so want him to know Jesus personally.

We are all sinners; I am, too. But, there are saved sinners and lost sinners. People need to have that peace in the midst of the terrible fear this Covid19 thing has caused.

All it takes is that single bit of faith, praying something like this.
"Lord Jesus, I choose to believe in you today. I don't understand all that's going on, but I know I'm a sinner in need of a Saviour. I haven't always done what's right, and my sin means I'm not perfect which means I can't get to Heaven on my own. But, I choose today to believe you are God in flesh, Jesus. I believe you died to take the punishment for my sin and rose from the dead. That if I were the only person ever you still would have died in my place for my sins and risen again. Lord Jesus, today I trust you as my Saviour. I turn away from my sins and I invite you into my heart to make me new inside. I ask you to cleanse me and come live in me through your Holy Spirit, and guide me through this difficult life. I believe you have saved me not by what I've done or who I am, but who you are. In Jesus' name, Amen."

That's all he'd have to do. That's all anyone has to do. This troubled time is what is called a "birth pang" by Bible teachers - because Jesus says as His coming nears the signs would be more and more intense and closer and closer together - we must share that salvation with others, so they can escape the horrible trauma which will come.

Go here for what to do if you're left behind when He comes - and share it with everyone even now.

Each of us is only a single, sincere prayer of repentance away from eternal life. The alternative is eternal separation from God's perfect love and goodness in Hell. Hell was only meant for the devil and his angels. And, God doesn't send anyone there; people go there when they reject His forgiveness and salvation.

You can go here to ask questions after clicking on a decision and leaving on inthe comment/response field, there are plenty of of skilled people to answer hard questions about these thigns.

In this troubled time, we don't know when Jesus will return. But, we do know that God lovingly gave us gifts of freedom and a great economy for many people, and that didn't wake people up. Now, He's allowing this to happen to wake people up. I just hope someone will come to know Him through this.

Because I want them - especially Bob - to know the wonderful peace I'll feel someday in Heaven. And, peace I feel now, despite struggles and intrusive thoughts that still occasionally creep in which  i neec Jesus to fight, and so on. God loves each one of us, and wants to help us through this difficult time. So we can have the best time someday in that perfect place where there can be no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin.

Where you are celebrating, playing and enjoying things blissfully, and waiting for your silly Daddy to give you a big hug and then go pet some lions and things.

Till that special time when we meet on that great celestial shore.

Love,
Daddy

Another reason to be thankful you're safe with Jesus

Sweetheart,

It's funny to think of those little times I've written how I miss you, and stuff we could have done. i always knew, and even mentioned in my posts, that I knew there was stuff I'm glad you don't have to face. And, things that I'd have struggled with seeing you have to go through. In some ways, there were a few times those thoughts helped me cope when I first prayed so hard for a child and then found myself praying like Hannah did for Samuel, dedicating him to God.

And, that was some of why I hadn't really posted much after those first months. Because I knew ou were in a better place.

Now, as we have a virus running rampant in this world, one which is worse than any flu strain since the Spanish Flu, and which has a major problem in that people don't know they have it for days after they catch it. People aren't going out anymore, and I'm so glad you aren't suffering from boredom. Even if it's likely you'd have had only very mild symptoms if you had caught it.

Some of these thoughts might well be used in another blog I write, and i hope they help to encourage people.

We haven't always been thankful for things. I know I've always been, and wouyld have taught you to be, but too many people don't appreciate the joys of the little things in life. A handshake, for instance, used to be the symbol of an ironclad promise. I still recall when my great uncle declared, as I was talking with him at 95, weeks before his death, that he knew for sure that he'd trusted Jesus Christ as his Saviour. And, I noted at the funeral that it was with the same certainty and determination as that very firm handshake he always had; he was a real estate developer in this area. A person's word has little meaning at times, let alone a handshake.

I don't know if that will change, but it's just one of those things too few people notice. We have such great freedom in our country, and sometimes we need reminders of just how good we have it. I don't know why it's been easier for me to appreciae all these little things. Maybe it's my family's influence, but I think a lot of it is my being legally blind and having other handicaps, too.

Either way, there's a huge need for people to distancer themselves from each other for a while, and this is hopefully forcing others to start communicating with their families again. A lot of times, you hear about people here who only communicate through their cell phones. Will people start to actually talk with each other a lot more after this is over? I don't know.

All I know is that I'd have made sure we had plenty of fun times together and engaged in meaningful conversation. You might have been mroe of a leader just because of that - but who knows, you might have been shier and needed that just to help you to come out of your shell.

I only know that - as much fun as we'd have had with thingslike reading and creating our owns tories and such - it would have been boring for you right now, whatever age you would have been. And, I wouldn't want to see you deprived of all the opportunitie. (I mean, sure, you'd be able to play outside, but it'd still be boring with no friends coming over, and it's pretty wet out right now, anyway. :-) )

But, I guess I'm just ahead of the curve on this, too. Because, I said before that, while it took me longer than it did for other things, I was still grateful that you didn't have to put up with some things. So, I didn't need this wakeup call that much, not like most of the world. But, that's the problem. Most of the world isn't like our family. There's a lot of people who don't have the loving, compassionate, caring, thoughtful people all throughout their families like we do.

You could have been a leader and helped to encourage those who suffer. But, instead, you're up therewaching, and wondering with your whole mind on the eternal, not jsut a small part like me: When will they learn?

I don't know. But I know God loves them just like He loves me. He loves every one of us individually. He loved us so much, He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

That life begins for the believer the minute they trust Jesus to save them. And, it's as easy as ABC - eEach person has to do this on their own. I had to do this, too. God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.(Heb. 11:6) And I share this so those reading can know that great salvation, peace, and comfort I've found. They can also go to www.godlife.com to learn more.

ADMIT you're a sinner, and fall short of God's perfect glory. Since you're not perfect you can't save yourself from your own sin

We couldn't, either. But, God's Word says you must simply...

BELIEVE with your heart that Jesus Christ is God in the flesh. He never sinned, yet He took our punishment for sin, when He died on the cross. Three days later, He rose from the dead.

If you've done A and B, all you need to do in that prayer is...

CHOOSE to CALL on Jesus by faith in Him alone to forgive you of all your sins. He will cleanse you from those sins, and make you new on the inside.

(John 10:10).

I hope many go to Godlife.com and even call on Jesus right now. This world needs Him desperately.

Till we meet in Heaven and celebrate what God has done, with HIm, together, forever...

Love,
Daddy

Camp, little blessings, etc.

Dear Sweetheart,

We, my parents and I, dropped one of the kids from my inner city ministry, where I'm assistant director, off at camp - her family couldn't - early last month. I'm asking those to read to pray for her and some other girls whom she sees like family as they go to a differfent church, that they be welcomed with open arms and really get into growing in the Lord and in all their activities, especially since it's a richer neighborhood by far than theirs. But, God wants to keep growing this church and push it and them to the next level.

For now, some thoughts I'd written, then put off for various reasons and not finished.

This is partly one of those posts where I share how the Lord has given me little glimpses of life as a dad. This certainly was that - the joy of seeing this girl go at the last minute (we're talking the afternoon of our camp's 50th anniversary celebration, the day before we'd drop her off Sunday evening - 3 days' notice like we had last year was too much this time :-)), the prayers I've prayed for her and others paying off (including that she wouldn't be homesick last year) and so on. And, especially the prayers that she really grow spiritually and make a break from some negative influences and not let them lead her astray.

It's a bit of a post about my friend Rick, whom you met 2.5 years ago or seconds ago or however the time works in Heaven, who was always volunteering to drive people places, and how grateful I am to have parents who will do this since I can't see well enough to drive.

It's even partly to consider how I have been a part of so many lives, how it is hard to consistently pray when I am not consistently with those kids like I would have prayed for you. But how God brings certain situations to mind at just the right time.

Most of all, it shares how God puts little blessings in my life when I don't deserve it, just like he does for everyone who trusts him to do so.

I don't really say it could have been you that I was taking the camp. I certainly don't say it should have been - God has the perfect plan.

Yet, I understand why some would say "should" because they are closer to that situation, perhaps less time has elapsed or the grieving process is just so different when they actually knew that child. I know another of your friends, Blake, was stillborn and that mother thinks of him everyday.

It's funny, though. As I wait for God's perfect timing to just hear about her situation and keep praying that God will pour out blessings of Love on to them, I sense that God had me praying for them more because he knew we would have less time. And, we had to take advantage of all the time we had.

That is something we all must do. And, something we will not have to worry about in heaven. Time shall be no more, it will be so different from this world where we are in that fourth dimension of time and we can find time slips away so quickly.

I am so glad we took her there. I've tried to take advantage of every opportunity because I sensed for years that the child God had for me may wind up in Heaven instead of with me on Earth. It is so sad that someone like me takes more advantage of these little opportunities to help than her family cares to do. But that is why there are Ministries like ours.

There is so much need. And, maybe that is one reason why you are where you are. It would have been so much fun to take you to camp and to see you grow in the Lord. But my place is here with others till that special day when we meet for the first time. Till that day when we won't have partings or any sorrow.

Some call it a happy place where we don't think about the stresses of life quite as much. It's like trying to create a bit of Heaven here on Earth. We can't do anything close to how wonderful it will be up there, I know.

I know, however, that till I get there, you are rooting me on. In some funny way, I can even imagine it is sort of like dropping you off at camp. You are with God's people someplace far better than even that though. And while I deal with everything here on Earth, you have such wonderful joy in Heaven.

I don't need to wonder if you are having a good time because I know it is wondrous there, so awesome words can't describe. And, sometimes that is the strength I need to keep going because I know but you will be so proud of me.

I'm sorry, maybe this one rambled a little bit more than normal. I guess that happens when you start it a month and a half earlier. I know however that you understand. You understand how important all those little blessings are. And I am especially thankful that Jesus has given me the ability to have these blessings.

Till we meet.

Love,
Daddy

Missing you and asking Jesus to give you a cookie

Sweetheart,

I hope you enjoyed the cookies. Yes, I was having one as a snack tonight and I asked Jesus to give you one.

I know, your silly daddy is just being himself huh? I'm sure Jesus gave you one and it was more awesome than anything one could have here on Earth. But, I was just thinking about you and the fact I'll be 50 soon. I told my best friend Sander who I was visiting on his 50th that I was still thinking about adoption but that you were in Heaven waiting for me and I was content and less God really opens a door soon.

So, I imagine you had the Lord just give you one and say it was from me. Jesus is such a faithful friend such times. He knows what we have need of before we need it, sometimes we just don't step out in faith like we should. I'm glad I stepped out and started looking into it and prayed hard about 5 to 7 years ago before I finally had my prayers answered in an unusual way. I would have enjoyed taking you on vacation with me.

I was thinking also about how God has given me little things that I don't always notice that's make me feel kind of like it would be you in a way. Like when we took our inner-city ministry kids to Dairy Queen and without being asked one girl open the door for my dad who has Parkinson's and helped him out of the car and with his Cane and then helped him to the door and took his hand and guided him when we had to drop him off at home before the kids we're dropped off at church because he was more tired. I was so proud of Adrianna for doing that, and I told her so. My mom did too. She has grown so much in the Lord that while she still struggles quite a bit you can see more and more of that spark of putting others first. It wasn't until tonight that I realized, you would be younger most likely by a few years but you would have had the advantage of being with a family vet would encourage you in the Lord since the time you were adopted. So, in a way, that was God showing me a glimpse of you.

Those glimpses come in other things I've mentioned also, both good and bad. I know you wouldn't have been perfect, but thankfully you are in heaven where you don't have to worry about all the temptations of this world or all the mean people.

You might well have tried to help some of them to be nice, and maybe you would have learned how. Maybe you'd have the desire to be a Christian counselor. Whatever you chose, you would  have faced disappointments when people didn't listen like a good friend from grade school and high school who really went bad after what I think for some very traumatic experiences in college. He became very rude and mean because I was standing up for others who did not like the vulgar attitude he was displaying. I tried to show him how to be kind and use better language but he wasn't willing to listen. I didn't even brag about how I was so nice, but he didn't like the sweet, gentle, compassionate attitude, probably because he was too busy fighting the demons inside him, whatever they were.

I still pray for him though. And, maybe others who read can also. I don't know if you pray up in heaven, I know Jesus always makes intercession for us. And, I know he knows the pain and heartache we feel down here on Earth. And one of the things that comforts me is that you don't need to face that.

Thankfully, I know Jesus as my savior, I have called on him to forgive me of my sins and trust that he is God in flesh and that he took the punishment for my sins when he died on the cross and rose from the dead. I have trusted him to save me and make me new inside. And, I pray that everyone who reads this will also.

I'll be with you someday.  In the meantime, in those times when I do miss you a little, I know Jesus knows how I feel and that he will comfort Me In help me with everything. So till that time, I can be glad did I have a little piece of you in the number of places. Yes, I'd be old enough to be a grandfather now so you'd be out of the house if I had had you early enough. That helps, too, at least with the fact that there are good reasons why you aren't here. But I don't have the memories I could if you had been born so I could have adopted you.

Thankfully, God always provides just what I need. Sometimes with others, sometimes that's still small voice this has me so delighted as I consider such silly little things is sharing a cookie with you as a bedtime snack, asking God to give you one up there, and wondering just what it's like. And hearing and imagining that sweet giggle with your comment, "it's a surprise Daddy."

Till I see you and have the big surprise.

Love,
Daddy

Vacation thoughts

Sweetheart,

With my dad getting older and unsure if I will make it back next year to a wonderful vacation place called Treasure Island Florida, I got to thinking about the memories. I know you have time so I'm not going to be that silly Daddy who doesn't want to interrupt because I know you're going to say you're in Heaven and you have all the time there because there is no such thing as time there.

Okay, that sounded silly itself didn't that?

You don't need me to share about how my great-grandparents found the place in 1966 when they had driven someplace, found it not that good, and then just drove up the beach to a motel called Suncoast. That started the tradition of staying in Treasure Island, the Suncoast was the first of a variety of places.

You've also no doubt heard of how when my grandparents and Mom and I went down in the 70s oh, Grandpa would do like he did at home, sometimes jokingly stepping out the door and acting like an outfielder making a barehanded catch with both hands. Only I didn't know he had an egg hidden somewhere and so he would return showing me that he had caught a flied egg. You heard about that too, and all the other fun memories.

I've shared that with others, as I have what Grandpa would say to get me to try new foods, that it grows hair between your toes. It's great to share those things because I have the chance to pass things on that were so special. That's one of the great things about having such a wonderful and loving family, that we can do that.

But there are some things that are better to experience, like feeding the seagulls and taking so many pictures of those even when cameras were limited to 24 pictures and you had to get them developed. Or how much fun it was to go to the sea castle each year and walk the beach, one year at midnight - an hour before it closed - because that's when are shuttle got in after the plane got in to the airport at 11 p.m. And then setting a record for latest going to bed at 1:02 a.m. that lasted, well, only 8 years till the 1984 Summer Olympics opened. It just felt like longer because that was over half my life once that record was finally broken when I was almost 15.

I would have taking a late night stroll with you on the beach just to let you experience that fun, how amazing it is that the weather changes once the sun goes down and the wind starts picking up. I'm sure you would have enjoyed a late night swim or two like I did last year. We'd have had so much fun walking the beach and going to different restaurants, especially our favorites over the last few decades. 

I think the netting prevents seagulls from stealing a hot dog like one did mine when I was little oh, at the public beach. But we have still seen birds flying so close it's incredible. And then the silliness like when my mom change the lines of a sudden a bit while laughing out loud, singing "Mona Lisa Mona Lisa why didn't you tell me?" We had so much fun there, even though there's that one intersection that's so bad that my grandpa literally pulled an Alan Shepard (an astronaut who peed his pants on purpose to let coffee out because the g-forces might have ruptured his bladder since he was delayed on the launch tower for a few hours) because he couldn't wait to figure out how in the world to cross it because there are about 5 different roads that intersect at it. Yeah, if we would have gone without someone else we'd be crossing a little further down the beach at Sloppy Joes to get to Gigi's.

Who knows what fun new memories we have made as well. I avoided looking silly by pretending to carry you on my shoulders as I walked back to our room at my uncle's timeshare a few times, I actually spend a lot of great time in prayer when swimming and walking like that. So there wasn't really the need to do that. However, I have found myself asking a few times if the Lord could give me a beach somewhere near my heavenly mansion.

Yes, this is where I so easily hear you giggling and whispering oh, "it's a surprise Daddy." It's so amazing what God has for us, we can't even imagine the Wonders that await us. That makes his grace and mercy even more amazing, because Jesus Christ, God in flesh, die to take the punishment for each of our sins and rose from the dead and all one has to do is call on him and trust him as Savior and receive his free gift of eternal life by faith alone.

There might be people just reading this blog who call out, "Lord Jesus, forgive me for I am a sinner, come into my heart and make me new inside, I trust you as my savior, that you died to take the punishment for my sins and rose again, and I invite you into my heart and life today."

That’s all anyone has to do as long as they’re trusting in Jesus by faith. It’s not about a church or anything, and Jesus makes them new so their “want to” changes.

 

So many other funny things, like someone putting cigarettes in a clam’s mouth in the ‘70s, or somehow managing a return flight when our usual airline went on strike with 2 layovers and 3 different airlines in ’79. And so many others. But, I'm sure you're just grinning and saying, "Silly Daddy, I'm in Heaven. The stuff here is more amazing than anything there." And, I know that factually. It's just that sometimes, at tiems like this, there is a part of me that wishes I could build sand castles with you, or other fun stuff. But, it's great to know where you are it's so much mroe amazing - and it's where I'll be someday, too.

Till that time, God has given me the imagination to dream, and the satisfaction of knowing I can help others know they'll be there someday, too. And the ability to imagine, just a little, tat I've shared fun stuff like that with you.

Till we meet in that place where there will be no more sorrow, or parting, or anything bad.

Love,

Daddy

Say "hi" to Uncle Rick

Sweetheart,

A few weeks ago, I told one of my closest friends, Rick, about how I planned to adopt and prayed hard about it, then God gave me peace that he had you waiting for me in Heaven, an answer like hannah got with Samuel; in fact, I started to realize what happened when my prayers for a child turned to God putting in my heart about praying like Hannah did to dedicate Samuel to the Lord.

By now you've met Rick. I'll reminisce about him some here, but - partly for a testimony to those around the world who may read this after losing someone - I'll share what happened first. He fought cancer for several years and beat it twice before this third one came back with a vengeance - in fact, he was only given about a 30% chance of surviving the second one in his liver, but with surgery he did without even needing chemo (would have started it but had an infection for a long while so they couldn't.) He was cancer free after that.

Of course, I say "Uncle Rick" because I like that way of referring to close friends of the parents as aunts and uncles, though ours was okay with just calling the friends by name. It's especially meaningful for one so close because I did love him like a brother. We'd only known each other for 23 years, so only since I was a young adult, but it was still so special - his whole family was always so nice, and he was such a kind, caring considerate person.

Most importantly, of course, he knew Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour, which is why he's up there, he'd called on Jesus to forgive him and save him from his sins, believing that He'd taken the punishment for his sins when He died on the cross and rose from the dead. Whereas Jesus took that punishment for you and since you never got the chance to live, instead of being adopted by me you went straight to heaven.

We'll spend time reminiscing about all the fun we had with Rick when we all get together. there were so many great things, so much laughter and good times that helps remind us of him. But, nothing compares to the joy up there.

It's hard to say whether we remember good times the same way we do here on Earth up there - and i know it doesn't pay to ask you becasue I'll get that little voice in my mind saying, "It's a surprise, Daddy." I did kid him that he's got a dog named Nitschke after the Packers' linebacker and one day soon he's going to have the real Ray Nitschke greeting him since the guy was saved and rick was such a huge Packer fan. I wonder

It's neat how I don't have to say I wish you could have met him, because now you have. Friendship is so important. The right kinds of friends, that is. A friend that is closer than a brother, one you can rely on for anything and who will always care about you. And, that's what Rick was. Rick was the nicest guy, I felt comfortable with him right away when I started going to Canton Baptist Temple. He accepted and shared my goofy sense of humor, and we always had a great time together. It was so easy to laugh about such silly things. He understood how to be a Godly person and have fun as a Christian.

Of course, Rick was dedicated to the Lord. He put God first in his life. However, he wasn't afraid to have fun with his love of the Packers, and no he had clearly dedicated that love to God and how the Lord richly blessed him through his love for the Packers. The visit of Hall of Famer Dave Robinson in Rick's last week's was just one of the many ways God used the Packers to bless him. And, of course, God used him to bless many other people too. It's amazing how many people considered him their best friend.

Rick knew that the main purpose of life was to show God's grace, but while he shared the gospel he generally just used his life to display God's grace. He was always looking out for others, always caring about other people and being friendly. There were a couple times a guy got saved who had been in our singles class after months of going there and he remarked that we have lost focus because we had gotten too interested in the phone and not as much and making sure the people spiritual lives were okay. He was so excited to see people falling the word and knowing where they would spend eternity. One time when he and I went to Green Bay in 2000 I had prayed beforehand that someone get saved on our trip and lo and behold, we gave a tract to someone where we were eating lunch there and the fellow came over 15 minutes later and thank the saying he had gotten saved. We were both so excited, and now Rick knows just what became of that man, named Josiah.

As noted, of course, most of our memories of him revolve around the fun times we had together because he knew the wonderful good clean fun that Christians could have. He reveled in it, Whether joking about tickling oneself like he did with me or telling really wild stories of things that really happened in this family, or just making jokes, he was full of life. It's so wonderful to know that he is again full of life up there, and probably having so much fun playing with you and getting to know you.

I could share a multitude of funny stories. Depending on how much one remembers of those good times, he probably has already shared many of them. The time he went to a gas station dressed as a revolutionary war soldier, for instance, because he was going to a party, and someone look at him and said that guy goes way back. Or the time he went to Green Bay and he and his friends were decked out in Packers stuff and Ohio State Buckeyes stuff and someone in the crowd said that just isn't right. And so many other things. 

Of course, what matters is that he is completely whole. He is healthy and full of life with no pain, no suffering, it is so wonderful to know. Just like you are safe from all those problems.

The even more wonderful thing, i know is that when i do finally see you, to be absent from the body is the be present with the Lord.

However, I remain down here becasue there are so many who aren't saved. Rick knew that. he wanted the Gospel preached at his funeral so people would hear, and it was, and 12 people (at least) raised their hands to indicate they'd prayed to receive Christ as Saviour, from what the minister said. That is so exciting! He also had reason to celebrate because I left his calling hours early and in my ministry class got to lead a girl to Christ. I pray he'll be able to celebrate others getting saved who are without Jesus, just as I know you will, and I hope all reading this will pray for those same people.

Until we have great great, joyous celebration together with all our friends and loved ones who know the Lord, I'm glad you're in a place that doesn't have anything bad in it, where there's no pain, no suffering, no sorrow, no sin. As I explained that that girl that night, it's impossible to sin up there, but since we all have sin in us, we need a SAviour. Thankfully, Jesus Christ, God in flesh, died to take the punishment for our sins and rose from the dead, and all one has to do is call on Him to forgive and save them and turn from their sin and make them new inside. A person can do that reading this right now, in fact. Just like that fellow who read that tract.

Enjoy it up there. I'll keep serving the Lord down here because I'm encouraged by you and great examples like Rick, but the real reason is because of the love of our Lord Jesus Christ. I owe it all to Him, and I do it all for Him. Sure, i fail sometimes, because I'm human, but I have His promise of forgiveness and salvation. Just like you.

till we meet.

Love, Daddy.

On Gifts I'd Have Liked To Have Given

Hi, Sweetheart,

I was just thinking, what would you like on television? Do you have any shows you actually watch up there?

Yeah, I know you'd say, "Silly Daddy, I'm in Heaven, why would I watch TV?" I was just pondering stuff that I've been interested in and it makes me think.

We love because we want to, just as I wanted to adopt you. After praying for a little one for quite a while God seemed to say in my heart that He had one for me but that He wanted to see if I would dedicate you the same way Hannah dedicated Samuel to the Lord. And, I said I would.

I know God has a bigger plan, a perfect one, it is one that made me sad but I know I will see you someday where we will celebrate for ever. In the meantime, I think about how you would have enjoyed talk of the "Full House" book Universe vs. TV Universe - and now we have NetU. There is so much fun with the chronology some online friends and I did, which any readers of this can see here under "the show". There was so much fun fanfiction with stories I've done and that a good online friend did which I helped with.; his stuff is also there under fanfiction, under Paul Austin.

Anyway, "Full House" is such a wonderful, sweet family show, just perfect for my tastes in how they always show such unconditional love. With the Chronology in a way it is as if I did raise you because of how much I visualize everything I say and do and even my writing. I know it's not the same, but maybe with my handicaps it's more of the same than it would be for some people. (And, I much prefer the Book Universe with D.J. as a proactive mother figure and much more giving.)

It would have been hard since I never had the money, but I got some "Full House" books that I did because I enjoyed putting together the chronology and the Lord used Full House for other things, too. Because of it, a fellow half a world away saw an example of Jesus Christ that I tried to be where he wouldn't have otherwise. You'll get to meet him, too, as while because of various things it's hard for him to come out and say it, the Lord has given me peace through a few things that he has trusted Jesus Christ to save him from his sin, which anyone can do, we're each only a single, sincere prayer of repentance to Jesus away from eternal life, as shown here.

I would have had such fun telling you how God uses many little things in our lives to help us. I don't know if you'd have been like book Stephanie or who you would have been like. (I know you are very unique, but sometimes those templates help me to understand things and people a little.) But, then again, maybe you wouldn't have even enjoyed Full House as much as you would have playing baseball or something. I don't know if we'd have written things together, though I like to think that we'd have shared in some of what I've written. (TV Unvierse and Book Unvierse stories of mine are also up on that site I linked to earlier.)

I know this, though. I love you, even though we have not yet met. Those gifts that I would have given you have gone to help someone else now; i sent them a couple weeks ago. But, who knows, maybe God will have someone for me someday. Or, maybe I will just wait until I am caught up in the air and we celebrate as we gather around the throne. Either way, even if I had the money and I suddenly adopted 10 kids, you will always be special to me. Because I know God has used you, too, in ways that are hard to describe, and in some ways specific to the types of challenges I was born with.

I still have my old toys and books and all the stuffed animals that I had when I was little, and I have given them to the Lord as well to use as He knows is best. I trust God because I know He is perfect love, wisdom, etc.. If you couldn't be with me, I know you are with the best sitter possible, and while I still miss you I am so glad you don't have to deal with the turmoil of this world. I'm so glad that God loved me enough many years ago to save me from my sins when I called on Him by faith to save and forgive me.

It is because of Jesus I know that I'm going to Heaven. And, because of Jesus I know you are safe and I will see you someday.

So, whether or not you'd havebeen a fan of "Full House," whether or not we'd have written stuff together, no matter what, I know that now, you probably look down on me with all these silly little things and laugh, becasue nothing in this world compares to the glory which is to come. As the Bible says, eye has not seen nor ear heard nor has entered into the heart of man the wonders that await us.

So, since it's all a bit silly to you anyway, I'm sure you understand your silly Daddy following some of this stuff on Twitter and just presuming that maybe you could have been a huge fan. that maybe you'd hve kept the books and enjoyed them, or watched the show and had fun little discussions, on your level at whatever age you were, about how the books are different and how on TV D.J.had to step in realistically and reacted but was proactive in books, and so on. I giggle as I picture you going to school - well, church, the way things are now you'd be homeschooled - and telling all your little friends how we only see 1/33th of a person's lives in a sitcom and stuff's not over in 30 minutes like other people say, and all those other little things.

Yes, I know you understand. Because your silly Daddy has other little nuances that are just part of what makes each of us unique, and little failings that are part of what shows we each need Christ's redemptive work on the cross to save us. And, tough I can't reach out and hug you tonight, I know you see in my heart how much I care, and somehow the Lord gives me peace that feels like a great big hug Himself. Because, that's what I always said when i was little, that Heaven was like a great big hug that lasts forever.

I'm glad you can enjoy that now, not becasue of anything but that Jesus Christ died for your sins, too, and rose from the dead,a nd since you died before you could understand that need to trust Him by faith and call on Him to save you, He saved you and you are covered by the blood of the Lamb of God.

Till we meet and enjoy that blessedness together.

Love,
Daddy

On celebrities, fictional worlds, and role models for kids

Hi, Sweetheart,

I talked before about various sports. I wonder if you keep track of Hollywood's stars. I think of all the fun and exciting things that happen and I figure you would have enjoyed it here on Earth. Who knows; perhaps you'd have been one of the few who has enough talent to make it in local commercials if not out there.

Of course even if you weren't, you're still a superstar in my eyes. Silly grammar, I know. Still, it fits since you died before I ever knew you, let alone before I could have begun to adopt you. The Lord led me to step out in faith and look into adoption despite my handicaps and my financial problems, and then led me to pray like Hannah did with Samuel dedicating him to the Lord and then letting him serve in the temple and live there. And now, I know I have a precious child in Heaven - you - waiting for me.

It's funny. I knew about a few, but I never followed celebrities before the internet - especially not before the last few years with YouTube and Twitter and the like. I was always more interested in the imaginary worlds created in which they performed their roles. So, for instance, I cared much more about the universe of a sitcom like Full House or the Mary Tyler Moore Show and what resulted from it than any of the performers. I could tell from things like changing clothing that TV shows took place over several days or more, not 30 minutes. I got involved considering what might happen between scenes and before and after episodes.

Only with the advent of Twitter have I really begun to follow Hollywood people. Even there, I am much more apt to follow young talent  such as from YouTube. One celebrity I enjoy the most is a happy, fun-loving singer and actress named Kacey Fifield. I started following her because of the Kids React series. Were you here with me, I can imagine she would be one of your favorites, too.

I grew up after the era of Shirley Temple, but with only three TV networks and no internet there were still very few opportunities for performers. Now, however, there is much more opportunity for someone to really get noticed. And, I pray for performers like Kacey, that she and others know the Lord Jesus Christ personally as Saviour and that they stay away from the many temptations in Hollywood. I pray they continue to use the great talents they have been given to glorify God and how they act and how they treat others. In other words, they make the world a better place like Jesus says in Matthew 5 about letting your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in Heaven.

So, even there, I like to give more than I take; I prefer to encourage and build people up, not just to let others entertain me. Which is a huge reason why I'm a fan of Kacey. She likes encouraging others, too, and is always so kind and considerate, from what I've read. The way I know I'd have helped you to be.

It's funny. I just realized this. Through my writing, my reading, my imagination, etc., as well as times with family and serving the Lord, God has given me the chance to do as much as ll I would have as a parent, just not in chronological order. Perhaps the Lord led me to get introduced to Kids React in part because He not only wanted to give me more to pray for and encourage, but also because it would be another little part of that.collage of non-chronological experiences where I can say I had a part like a parent. A few times I even disciplined one really ornery cousin or defiant niece, each time in a kind, caring way that showed I love them. So, of course, following young talent has a twofold purpose - two watch someone else grow and become successful but more importantly a great example of Jesus Christ, but also to imagine how you might enjoy following such stars. After all, I've seen my cousins, nieces, and nephews do all those great things and been excited to have watched that.

A fellow church member encouraged his boy that he'd "chosen a good one" when I informed them his son's favorite player, Andrew McCutchen of the Pirates, is a Christian. And, in the same way, I feel like I could encourage you that you've chosen good ones by the ones I see who are great examples. But, that's just me "being a silly Daddy", as you would say, because you are in Heaven with the greatest of all, Jesus Christ.

Still, it is lots of fun 2 imagine you getting the same joy I do out of things. Some of them may be silly, just like I am sometimes, but it is still great fun.

I don't need to think of such things all the time, in fact I don't need to very often comma but it is still fun when I do. Because it helps me to know that God has given me wonderful gifts, some of which I experience here on Earth in my own life, some I simply enjoy following and celebrating with them, anthem - many in fact - I will enjoy when I get to Heaven.

And, I know I'll be in Heaven because I have put my trust in Jesus Christ to save me from my sins, calling on him by faith to forgive me and make me new inside. And then, we will meet and celebrate together.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy

WElcoming loved ones and reunions

Hi, Sweetheart,

By the time this is posted, you'll have greeted a 95-year-old great uncle. As I write, he has rallied some, perhaps waiting for his daughter to make it to see him once more.

God had other plans, though, because I finished that paragraph and by the time I got back here he had gone home to heaven. And, there's a little something fun that happened that, well, you and I can share together. See, my uncle said he would chip in on the flowers and instead of just his name he wanted his last name and the family, my mom remarried as you know and so their family name is different too, so I said just put my last name and the word family too. So, in that little way, it is sort of like you were in on this too.

That wasn't the original reason I started this post. But, it's kind of cool how that worked out.

 Back to the original intent, I read somewhere in a search looking for what people experience near death of a family that had this little girl who had been there to welcome quite a few of the members and be with them as they entered the spiritual realm fully.(As opposed to partly, which is what those who are dying experience their last days.) The family didn't know who she was - I kind of wonder if she was someone from a few hundred years ago who was perhaps a stillborn child or something. It's hard to say.

I jsut know reunions are so much fun, and he is there celebrating with his loved ones who went before him who knew Christ as Saviour - and, of course, those who die before the age when they can understand the need for it.

And yet, God gives us abundant life here, too, as the linked site discusses along with presenting that plan of salvation. that abundance isn't always physical blessings. This man was a child of the Great Depression, fought in World War Two and saw much bloodshed there, and lost a child himself at a young age. And yet, he had an abundant lie because he knew there was something better, and more important, Jesus Christ wasn't just his 'Savioiur. This great uncle had realized he was a sinner, believed that Jesus Christ - God in flesh - had died to take the punishment for his sins and risen from the dead, and called on Jesus to save him and get him to Heaven. However, Jesus was much more to him. He was a comforter, guide, helper, friend, and so much more.

We are all called to be servants, to help others. that girl, somehow was appointed by God, perhaps as a prayer of hers after a wonderful if very short life, to helping to comfort others. But God ultimately is the one who uses her, just as He has done a few little things like what I mentioned to help me know you're there waiting for me someday. (I don't even know where that thread or even message board is now, but you can tell that girl i said "hello." :-) )

God is personal. He wants a relationship with each of us. He desires to help us through all the problems of life. He is just waiting for us to come to Him and to trust Him to help us instead of trying to do it all ourselves. Then, He will give us all we need. Not all that we want, but all we need when we need it. So, we we don't have it, we must not need it.

Even with something as final in this life as death, however, God gives us grace and strength to get through it in a wonderful way. Soemtimes with little reminders of that loved one, sometimes in other ways.

So, when you see that fellow up there, and you show him around, who knows. he might provide you with some memories of how God helped him with the loss of his son decads ago. I'm curious to know if he knows who you are right away; I think I did mention in a Christmas card or birthday card a couple years ago about my faith that I had a child in haven.

But, I know one thing for sure. I can jsut imagine your sweet voice insisting whenever I wonder that, "It's a surprise, Daddy." Just another of those little things God gives me - easier by far becasue of my being sucha  visual thinker.

So, have a wonderful time greeting him and everyone else in my family, and I look forward to that great reunion we who know Christ as Saviour will have someday. Including with all those who - because I post this - have read and have been comforted and perhaps even trusted Christ as Sviour because of this. I'm sure there will be some. And, because of that, you - like that other girl - are blessing people even though you never had a chance to live yourself on this earth.

Till we meet in Heaven.

Love,

Daddy

Fun dream, what Heaven will be like

Hi, sweetheart. I know you will say "It's a surprise Daddy," but I wonder what you would enjoy sportswise. Would you be a big baseball fan? I imagine you doing stuff I like, but I was thinking about it with the World Series. Of course, it's possible that eventually you would like things a lot different than I do. Or at least different teams.

It's hard to know why some people like some things and not others. I know that I have enjoyed following whatever you did because it was something you loved. And, that's the way I would want any guy who fell in love with you to be. Someone who thought you so precious, so wonderful and caring, that he would always give himself for you. After all, a relationship is supposed to be about giving.

Jesus showed us the perfect example of that when he, God in flesh, came to this world to die for our sins and rise from the dead. He took each of our punishments, and all someone has to do is call on Him by faith to forgive and save them from their sins - anyone can visit Jesus2020.com to see more - it's just that you died below the age of accountability, likely before you were even born for me to adopt. So, you celebrate up there, and watch things like the World Series, if you're interested, and make you wonder if the Cubs will ever win another pennant.

I think about this dream I had, too. I was in something like Heaven with a large grassy field. I knew was a dream and somehow that you might be there for a moment. You were running by in your bare feet and a white robe like the Bible tells us the saints will be in Heaven when we celebrate. Then, I hugged you and we laughed together for a moment so joyfullyjust as I know we'll celebrate for real someday.

I know it wasn't really you in that dream, but, it's so nice to know that God gives us little gifts like that when we trust him, when he knows we need a little encouragement and strength to make it through. Just like at times I will have the image of you cheering me on as I try to get through this life where people sometimes don't care about others the way they should, and only care about money and don't try to help the little guy. You may not realize it but even so you weren't born for me to adopt, God is using you. Just as he can use any of us when we make ourselves available.

I love you so much, sweetheart, but I love Jesus even more. Because whether it's that or the image of a batter patiently waiting for a pitch or whatever it is, he knows each of us and what we need most.

It can be so frustrating and disheartening to never have the money, to see it be so expensive to adopt and to have problems that I just can't avoid, and prices keep going up, but I know I have you waiting for me no matter what. And, through serving Jesus I have rewards that cannot be taken away. Yet even if I didn't have those I would serve Him because of how much He has done for me.

Anyway, it was special, and I wonder if that large, grassy field with beautiful scenery around and clear blue sky was like what Heaven is like. I do imagien you just running and playing in your spiritual body - till the Rapture when you'll get your new body that has no sin - all day, so filled with joy, the way a childhood should be. There are so many  who don't have that, but I try to pray for them, as hard as it is with how overwhelming it is , somethign made worse with how my brain processes things. And, of course, you're also so excited to have Jesus around.

It's interesting, the new Jerusalem Revelation 21 and 22 talk about doesn't describe the earth except there is "no more sea," but I can imagine it being so wonderful, with such blissful scenery taht we can celebrate as God's creationt he way we were meant to.

But, before, the Millennial Kingdom? What will the kids do who rule and reign with Jesus? It will be so much fun to see. Maybe you'll be playmates for the kids born in the Kingdom who will still need to trust Christ as Sviour. Maybe you'll be encouraging us, too.

Whatever it is, it's more wonderful than we can imagine. And, I can see why you like to say (in my imagination) "It's a surprise, Daddy." Because, it is better than any dream we can have. I don't know why I asked the Lord a few tiems for one like that to see you, except that i guess being such a visual thinker sometimes that helps a lot more. But, hving had that dream, I realize it's just something more to praise God for, as in His goodness He realizes we are so fragile and have so much trouble in this life. So, when we trust Him and realize we can't do it ourselves, He gives us whatever help we need - and He knows better than us what we need when we need it. His wisdom and ways are perfect.

But, I know that's no surprise to you up there. You get to see Jesus face tof ace, as I will someday.

Till that special time, I will make it down here because I know the Lord is guiding me with His unconditional love. And, i pray others who read this are similarly encouraged to trust Him with all their heart.

Till we meet,

Love,

Daddy

Till the Lord returns, plus something for those reading if millions vanish

Hi, Wweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly daddy again. I actually had one ready I forgot to post so there's a post right below this, too. I don't know how much you can follow of this world, or want to, given the problems of this world. Indeed, it's gotten so bad some say the Lord will return for us.

Indeed, some people might read this after millions have disappeared all at once, including children. If so, we'll be together with Jesus in the air, and those young enough will be there with us as God protects them from His wrath, just as I know while you weren't born, at least you were protected from this world's problems.

I pray after such vanishings people will read this - also, among good links at that blog, this video will help people know what will happen in the end times and how to trust Jesus to save them from their sins, as I discuss elsewhere here. I don't know when that'll happen, but I pray the above URLs will be copied so people are able to find them when the last of the End Times come - the Tribulation.

Back to the present, I've been considering how different our family is. Genetically there is something that makes us so much more easy going, more well behaved and not as rebellious. Of course, we are saved by grace through faith in God's gift. We must each trust Christ as Saviour on our own and not our own works. But, it is easier for some to resist temptation than others.

Anyway, I wonder. What would you have been like. I know that, when adopting, I'd have had the chance to choose some qualities. But depending on how old you were it might have been hard to say what you would have been like.

Of course, I'd have loved you no matter what you were like. I had templates in my mind of how to handle different situations, what different kids were like, so I knew how to handle a lot of different things. With how I process things, I even practice in my mind and out loud. It helps people with the type of brain I have to practice. And yet, I'd have gone with however I had to handle things with you very easily, too, because I knew the Lord would be the one guiding me.

Communication is so confusing sometimes. Maybe you'd have had better ideas that I would have over how to handle it.

The important thing is, I'd have kept you away from the worst, and you have been in an environment of love. & unconditional love is more vital than one can imagine.

I don't know how long it'll be till the Lord returns, the dead in Christ rise first, and will remain are caught up together to be with in the air. However, I've been thinking about what I might be doing in the Millennial Kingdom.

What does that have to do with the previous topic? Well, it's connected by this. People won't need wills and estates much, if at all, and I really don't like law like I did. I think my interest in having a steady career in a situation where the Lord was leading me was the important part. And, I see now that part of why He led me there was so I could have my own practice, have my own hours, and do so much ministry. Things haven't always been perfect in that area, but I don't need to go into detail about that.

I will, however, mention that - in addition to the radio show I co host and other ministry things - I'll need something. it would be nice to continue to work with young people. I have asked the Lord for a number of things, some of which were more rash but all of which were with the goal of letting others know of Jesus Christ's love and forgiveness.

So, while I would love to see baseball resume, and in fact think it would be great to have young people's sports as part of a ministry, I don't need it to happen. I don't need to see, for instance, in the Millennial Kingdom, instead of the national anthem a short devotional coming before every game. It would be lots of fun. But I will love just being with Jesus so much!

I just hope and pray that whatever it is, you can come with me and enjoy it as I do.

There are many things I wonder. How our mansions will be designed, weather we will have mansions neighboring those we are closest to or what, and so on. It's so much fun just imagining you - as I ask that - whispering in my ear, it's a surprise Daddy.

Still, I love to consider all of that. I'll be so excited just to see the Lord, but He promises we will rule and reign with Him, so we must be doing something there.

I can't wait to see you, and share the joyful eternity we'll have together.

Till we meet,

Love, Daddy

Joy of family, weddings, celebrating, knowing Jesus

Hi, Sweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly daddy again. I forgot to post this, but a few months ago, we had wonderful wedding for a cousin of mine. We have such a great family, and all would have been super helping you to grow when I adopted you. This one is the fourth of five to get married, land he like the others has found the most wonderful spouse. We all get along so well, because of the great love God has and how we celebrate that love.

Of course, a personal relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ is the most important one, and the fact that is how I am able to both speak with you through this and know that I will see you someday. I know that had other decisions been made you would have been born and available for me to adopt. I will always love and cherish you even though I couldn't adopt you here. In fact, the trust in the Lord allows me to know I will know you as your daddy and you as my child someday.

But, the relationship of a parent to that child is very special, too. It is a special one that isn't always biological, it is based on who shows that love and tenderness and mercy and the example of Jesus Christ that we should all be. The one who raises the child to love the Lord and teaches them to care because they want to and not because they have to, because it's not love if you are forced to love.

I love you, Sweetheart, and I know as I watched that wedding and the celebration afterward, I saw you in the little ones having so much fun, all the way up to the bride and groom. Because, who knows, maybe my going forward was the Lord getting me to realize the while I never had the money to adopt, had I had the money He would have had me adopting 10 to 12 years earlier then when I went forward, stepping out in faith to adopt. So, it's possible you would have been having fun with my cousins little ones, or maybe I'd be the father of a beautiful bride or fabulous groom sometime around now.

Those who do not know the Lord Jesus Christ personally, who have not called on him to forgive them for their sins and make them new inside, they might go on saying that they will never know you. But, I will not do that. I know I will know you someday. At that great marriage supper of the Lamb, we will indeed celebrate together. I have known such joy and feel complete because of the Lord filling those holes in my heart just like He will fill the holes in anyone's heart. I know you didn't have had the chance to attend this wedding physically, but you were there in spirit like the grandparents mentioned and anyone else who was missed. And the important thing is, one day we will celebrate together. Till the time, God continues to remind me of His perfect love for me and how He is taking special care of you. Well I couldn't show you God's love here on earth, you know that love for yourself, and perhaps a lot more too. That is what matters.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

Serving the Lord for His glory, but knowing you're happy for me, too

Hi sweetheart,

I heard about a couple of your playmates up there in Heaven in a recent sermon. I know, Daddy is being silly again, huh? I don't know who you play with up there or what you do, but I know it's fun. And, I'm sure you know so many wonderful kids up there who wound up dying before the age of accountability or getting saved at a young age and then dying.

I know better than to ask you if you know these particular kids that a visiting pastor mentioned. I know you'd just say, "It's a surprise, Daddy." What's important is that faith that I told this pastor about when I mentioned you.

I am anxious to see you, but we don't know when Jesus will return. Oh, there are certainly many signs that point to it being very soon. However, if those turn out to be merely signs of things moving forward and not of Christ's return very soon, I will still have faith.

It's interesting to think how you would have handled such things. I told one person I would likely want a girl because they express their emotions more easily and I can't understand nonverbal cues well, but there are boys who do and, well, this rambling is just to say maybe you would be more anxious about it, but I would be able to be a calming influence as we discussed how stuff worked. I would try hard to be a great example of Jesus Christ and the solid foundation He gives us, so when problems came you could be sure of something that never wavered.

I am getting ahead here, but it would hopefully help you to understand God's plan to focus on Him and not worry so much about love of other people in your teen years and beyond, because what matters most is your future mate love Jesus first. It's like a Facebook saying I saw, be so in love with God your future mate has to seek God with all their heart to find you.

Daddy's really silly now, huh? Even if you had been born and I adopted you, the Lord might have returned well before you started to date or court, huh?

And to think this started because of the visiting pastor mentioning kids who died of rare diseases before they ever went through that, anyway. 

Still, it's the kind of thing which pops into my head and at times it helps to share even though you're up there away from all these problems. I guess it's from a desire I always have to help others, and it's a bit sad sometimes when I'm not used of God to help you. 

But, then the Lord shows me all the ways I do help and all I can do, even this blog is probably touching some who might have lost a child. And, they can imagine theirs as I do you, watching from Heaven and encouraging me. They can realize God made this world perfect, but man chose to sin and brought evil into the world. Yet God will get them through all the pain that results and one day take them home to His perfect Heaven, to be forever with no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin, where nobody can imagine the wonders that await us.

That same wonderful place you are right now. Where you're waiting for me and their kids are waiting for them. As long as that person has made a heart and mind decision to accept they are sinners, believe that Jesus Christ died for their sins, to take their punishment, and rose from the dead, and choose to call on Jesus to save them from their sins, forgive them, and make them new on the inside.

We are each only a single, sincere prayer of repentance away from eternal life. Is that eternal life begins at the moment one turns from their sins and trust Jesus Christ to forgive them.

As I help in our church's Bible School soon, I'll work so God may be glorified, because it is His perfect goodness and mercy that matters, our work for Him that is rewarded in heaven. Still, I will also know you are ready to celebrate with the angels when these young people get saved. And, who knows, you might just turn to one of those friends like I mentioned, or maybe who were killed, or whatever happened that they died so young, from thousands of years ago, and say proudly, "That's my Daddy."

I don't need to hear that to know that you're there waiting for me, but it's fun to know that God is faithful and he will keep bringing people to Him just like the many who got saved at our church camp until it's time for the Lord to call us home. And, even after that, many will be getting saved during the Tribulation.

And, no matter when the Lord calls us, I will keep serving Him until He does, because I want Him to be glorified. Because, Jesus Christ is the one who saved my soul and gave me you, as a special blessing who has gone before me to Heaven to be with Him.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

A simple "hello"

Hi Sweetheart.

Recently, I closed out one of those fun pretend threads on an alternate history site where 1983 in the USA was sent back to 1783. I adopted a girl there, and had fun imagining her up to this point when she graduated, which I thought high school graduation would be a perfect place to close my participation in it. Others had lost interest for a while, but it was a joy to do this.

Of course, you'll forgive me if you are a boy, although for some reason I do sometimes picture you as a girl, though that is probably because of this roleplay thread. Or, maybe the Lord is giving me one little snippet of information about you. Of course, I know that you would giggle and whisper "It's a surprise, Daddy."

The thread, in the alien space bats section of alternatehistory.Com, was started by someone else, but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Of course, there will be other things where I will imagine you there, little pieces of what life would have been like with you. And each time, I am reminded that you are experiencing so much joy up there in Heaven. It would have been a joy to know you, but it will be a joy to know you one day and that is what is important. In the meantime, whatever next adventure awaits, I know you are watching and I enjoy trying to make you proud. of course, I especially want to serve the Lord in what I do. But, you are just more and more little way in which Jesus gives me peace despite the difficulties of this world. And, I hope that others realize the same special thing I do, the joy of a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Each of us must simply repent of their sins and trust Jesus Christ by faith to forgive them. It's as easy as admitting 1 is a sinner and cannot reach heaven themselves, believing that Jesus Christ God in flesh died to take the punishment for their sins and rose from the dead, and call on Jesus by faith to forgive them and turn away from their sins and their heart and invite Jesus to come live in them through the Holy Spirit. It is a personal choice, a heart and mind decision. 

And, when they do, God will hear them and help them through anything. As long as they trust Him to do so. 

This has been an unusual blog as well. I don't know how many other times I will post here, but something may come to me just as has it other times after a lull. But one thing I am certain about, I believe God has used this to help others as well. So, I am thankful that while I won't know you in this life, I can know you and we can enjoy forever together. That forever is so wonderful. Because it will be forever with God Himself in his perfect Heaven, where there will be no pain, no suffering, no tears, and where we can't even fathom the wonders that await us.

That is so much more amazing than we can fathom. More amazing than any fictional story.

Till we meet,

Love, Daddy

Little reminders that God is watching over us

Hi, Sweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly Daddy again. I just had a wonderful experience sharing a Bible study with a man who is, well, a little challenged. He wouldn't mind me saying what I have told him, that he views the Bible the way its child would, with awestruck wonder at God's creation. He sees the simple things in life so well, and his questions to me when he calls with Bible questions are somewhat simple but in some ways so profound.

Why am i sharing? It just made me think of how we might be studying the Bible, had you been born. You'd have so many fun questions for me, maybe at times simpler than his, but it would just be so much fun. And, as you grew, you would gain more understanding and start asking questions about things like the Godhead, which i tried to explain but couldn't because I'm just a mere person. (Though showing him Colossians 2:9 and a few verses after helped.).I'm sure you'd rely on the Holy Spirit as well as me to understand the King James Bible - the one fr5om the original Antiochan texts - so well. (It's actually got fewer archaic words and simpler language than other versions like the NIV. Yeah, I'm being silly, you know that, huh?)

Thankfully, I would be able to share my faith with you, and help you to understand God's love. You would be seeing it in how I treat you, as well. So, hopefully you would have come to know Jesus Christ as your Saviour by calling on Him to save you from your sins at an early age, and you would enjoy that personal relationship with Him. Indeed, hopefully you would be reading the Bible like this man does, always excited at looking at the relationships and just exploring in your mind what it was like to be alive back then, to be each of the figures in each story. 

That's where I say, he looks at it like I imagine you doing so. With that awestruck sense of wonder at the love of God, and trying to imagine what it was like to see Jesus face to face. You would ask, as he did, things like how could they reject Jesus after seeing the miracles that He did and after looking in God's Word at the Old Testament and what was prophesied. And, we would have fun talking about who we'll see up in Heaven.

Of course, you are up there now, and you probably have perfect understanding of all of those situations like my friend asks about, some of which even I am mystified by a little. We all have so much to learn about God's Word, and we can see so much new  each time we read. Of course, you know Jesus personally up there.

In fact it's funny. As I was helping my friend understand a few things about the passage he had questions about, the Holy Spirit ministered to me and I sensed the Lord reminding me that, yes, you are up in Heaven, but Jesus gives me little things like that or hints of what it would have been like, to help me to know that He, Jesus Christ, my personal Savior, is helping me through everything, and that I'm still getting a taste of those joys in anticipation of what will come when we do meet, because I've trusted in Him.

There have been other times, some things I've mentioned here, some I haven't, that I know the Lord is guiding me and helping me to see that even if I can't be with you here on earth, I can have those special little opportunities. And, I can trust Him, because I have put my trust in Him by calling on Jesus Christ to forgive me and save me from my sins, through His death ont he cross and His bodily resurrection. I know I can trust Him to get me to Heaven, and to watch over you till I get there.

Till the glorious day when we meet,

Love,
Daddy

Missing only for a time

Sweetheart, 

Yes, I'm writing again a little sooner than last time. I was taking a number of more wintery items upstairs and thinking about the smaller amount of space in this house.

Oh, its not that bad, you would have had a wonderful attic bedroom in a bungelow (how do you spell that?) since I have an office in the 2nd bedroom downstairs, and you'd have plenty of room for a bed(there anyway), a couch/chairs, and room for toys and such. It might have been a little cramped when it comes to clothing, but you'd have had enough space for a small dresser and things like that, and as you grew and put things in the closet where kids' books and those stuffed animals I mentioned are now I'd have some of my clothes in there still, and we'd have had lots of fun laughing about how you were going to trick me into taking some of your clothes downstairs for myself whenever I went to exchange winter and summer stuff. We'd have had so much fun laughing together and enjoying life, that the difficult times wouldn't have been so bad because we'd have been family. And indeed, I feel like that now, even separated by a dimension - me being in the physical and you in the spiritual realm.

I couldn't give you a mommy either. In some ways maybe that is one thing which held me back, kept me from stepping out in faith to look into adopting earlier. But, I know my mom would have been there for you, and you'd have found wonderful friends whose mothers could be your surrogate mother (I know a few who consider their friends' moms as second mothers even if they have good moms, they call them doptive mothers because they adopted the mother :-)). Plus, of course, I have the love and compassion and sweetness where I go overboard with it in fact. You'd have had wonderful people at church to help also. I know we could have made it work. 

I'm sure, at times, we'd talk about how you wish you could have a mommy; who knows, maybe you would have tried to set me up with people and one might have worked out. Just like if things had gone differently one of those I liked at church might have worked out, but each of them was too busy with studies and work at that point when i was looking 15-20 years ago.

God had other plans though, and we'd have talked about how things are very special anyway. Just like you might have thought about how it would be great if we had a much bigger house, but we talked about how it was special anyway, with the lumpy backyard and funny things like that. And, how we'd have Heavenly mansions to look forward to once you trusted Christ as your Savior just as I had trusted Him as mine. Indeed, in a way, this is sort of sharing those discussions just as I posted earlier about what it might have been like in other ways, who you would most be like, etc..

Of course, now you are celebrating in yours ahead of time. I think of asking what it's like and how that actually works for those who weren't born, and I get that cute image of you saying "It's a surprise, Daddy." And, I'm excited and anxiously awaiting the big surprise.

Because, I know Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the dead, & I have called on Him and put my trust in Him to save me and get me to Heaven by simple faith, and not because of anything I have done. And, that is just the way you are there too. It's all because of Jesus for those who die before the age of accountability..

So, I know while things didn't work out here, we will have forever together someday. That is the important part. It is what I'd have emphasized down here when we talked about you not having the mommy you might have wanted or a bigger house. And, yeah that's what I focus on now, knowing that this momentary absence will be nothing compared to the glory of seeing our Lord Jesus Christ and celebrating forever in Heaven.

Until that time, I know you are in the best hands possible, those of our Lord.

So, till we meet, those things I lack are just reminders that someday, because of Jesus, everything will be made right for those who trust Him, as his Word says we shall rule and reign with him.

Till we meet,

Love,
Daddy.

Ice Cream - in This Weather? (Ramblings from Febrary to now)

Hi, Sweetheart,

Sweetheart,

I had this as a draft but didn't post it, it was just one or two little comments but I decided to add it as well as my other post. It's from February, when the weather was a lot worse here. But, I just discovered it again.

So, I'm adding it to what I had written about a vacation, because it made sense to just combine the two. And, it shows how great it is I don't need to be adding to this blog all the time, or even much at all.

One of those silly things we adults do, my mom felt like getting some ice ream at the store the other day to have with a pie she was making, so I got a few scoops from my parents along with a piece of pie for dessert.

Ice cream when the high barely got above zero seems quite silly, but it made me smile with joy as I imagined doing that with you; after all, kids aren't so set in their ways that they realize how silly it is to have ice cream in zero degree weather.

Or, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's just odd to me.

Either way, kids bring such joy to life, and the great thing is the Lord has given me so many little joy, some of which came to my mind as I went on vacation recently. It's so fun to joke about those things for my Heavenly mansion. I continue to just imagine you saying with anticipation, "It's a surprise, Daddy" to the point I don't ponder whether I'll have a swimming pool or whethere there will be beaches (though I'd think givent he many different nations and peoples a variety of mansion types will be there). I just know Jesus has something wonderful.  Just like when I went forward to step out of the boat and trust that Lord to help me adopt you. And, though it turned out, from the way God has directed my prayers, you didn't end up being born,  I know you are one of those great surprises Jesus has for me.

In the meantime, so many fun things come. My family, like me, loves to see joy in all those little things. Just like I know you would. There are many times I somehow know He's showing me that same type of joy can still occur. For instance, the excitement that my mom gets showing me things on her cellphone, or pictures she's taken. I just know you would be the same way, so thrilled to show me the picture of a bird - though maybe not with fish in its claws, but who knows - or of something else you may have done. Whether in dance or baseball or some other sports, it wouldn't matter if you weren't the best, as long as you had fun. Facebook provides me with joys like seeing friends whose kids do things like coloring eggs for Easter and things like that, and just the joy of seeing others enjoy themselves is enough.

And of course the knowledge that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead and thinking of the thrill when you would have invited Jesus into your life and heart as your personal Savior. Now, I don't need to worry about when that would happen because I know you are there, in Heaven, because Jesus Christ died for you before you could understand that need each of us has to receive Him by simple faith, calling on him to forgive you and save you from the penalty for your sins, a penalty He took upon Himself when He died and then rose again the third day..

I have that huge stuffed animal collection as well, and while I don't get to see you amazed at it I have seen cousins and nieces and nephews be so amazed at seeing it for the first time. And I know you're up there amazed seeing it from there too, and I won't ask anything else in that area because I know your answer: "I can't tell you; it's a surprise Daddy."

I can't wait for that great big surprise. I know it's Jesus preparing my Heavenly mansion, but in a small way it's sort of fun to imagine you have any tiny part, just like when a parent will help that child get a Mother's or Father's Day gift for their spouse. A 3 year old, for instance, can't do much more than point to a color they might like, but its still fun and special. It's  the thought that counts, and I believe that you think of me in some small way even as you spend most of your time playing up there, and finding even more things to be amazed by than i could ever imagine here on earth, I'm sure.

I haven't needed to write a lot - and didn't even at first, though it helped. But, it's still nice to note times like this and look forward while also being thankful for what the Lord has done. I don't know what all you follow down here, but I know you understand I can't wait to get there and give you a great big hug. because Jesus is the reason I will be there, the reason any of us have life, but that special treasure I prayed for I know is up in Heaven waiting for me. I just thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for giving you to me. And I am grateful to Him for forgiving me so you and I can enjoy is perfect Heaven together someday.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy.