Hi, Sweetheart.
The last nice day before a very cold stretch, and I was thinking about the fact i don't have any clients today and can enjoy it outside so much. And, I was thinking about how neat it was when my grandpa retired and how I pondered what it was like to be totally free of school or work. I ws 9 then, or maybe just about to turn 9. And, i always cherished those summers and weekends when I could just play outisde all the time.
Of course, most likely you'd be in school but I was thinking, too - remember when i said earlier in my first post or 2 about pretending in my mind? I would actually pretend at tiems that you were a teenager and then an adult - I cried when I pretended to leave you at college for the first time because as I was acting it out in my mind it was so real. Yeah, that's that Asperger's, or at the least PDD-NOS, I was telling you about - I am an extreme visual thinker. It's probably why quite a few performers may be on the spectrum - I hear Jerry Seinfeld says he is and he does a lot for autism awareness.
Sorry for that ramble, but anyway, i was thinking, too, I could be a grandpa by now. In fact, my mom mentioned that back in '07 since my good friend's sister had a girl who was born in '87 and her mom had her at maybe 18 or so. Indeed, 2 years ago at my reunion there were a couple classmates who were grandparents.
That helped me, too, with thinking about it (and with my pretending :-). I don't really feel the need to pretend anymore because I do imagine my imaginary kid(s) are graduated and out on the mission field now, so it's very easy to tell myself, "It doesn't matter if you don't have a kid because if you'd had one they'd be all grown up by now." And, maybe that's why that pretending didn't fulfill me like it did, why I pleaded so hard with the Lord to give me a child. And, why He connected me with you.
Anyhow, all that is to say this. I do still think about you, and I'm so glad you can enjoy yourself up there free from all the problems of this world. (And with much better weather, too. :-) I'm anxious to see what that's like. But, I know you'll just say "It's a surprise" so I won't ask. :-)
It's so fun to celebrate God's great creation here, too, though. And, though we can't slosh through the leaves and rake them into big piles and jump in them and stuff like that together, and wouldn't anyway since you would likely be in school or off and married by now, I feel great knowing you cn celebrate God's mighty creation from the other side, and I don't feel bad because I know that you are enjoying it so much up there, and so happy, just as I'd hope you would be if you were living here. And, I have so much to be thankful for, especially because I know the Lord Jesus Christ, I've made it personal, I have heart knowledge, not just head knowledge, of my Saviour and one day I will see Him face to face. It will be such a thrill. And, the great thing is, you've had that experience already, being so young when your physical life ended. It will be so wonderful to someday celebrate Christ's love forever together.
Till we meet,
Love,
Daddy
