WElcoming loved ones and reunions

Hi, Sweetheart,

By the time this is posted, you'll have greeted a 95-year-old great uncle. As I write, he has rallied some, perhaps waiting for his daughter to make it to see him once more.

God had other plans, though, because I finished that paragraph and by the time I got back here he had gone home to heaven. And, there's a little something fun that happened that, well, you and I can share together. See, my uncle said he would chip in on the flowers and instead of just his name he wanted his last name and the family, my mom remarried as you know and so their family name is different too, so I said just put my last name and the word family too. So, in that little way, it is sort of like you were in on this too.

That wasn't the original reason I started this post. But, it's kind of cool how that worked out.

 Back to the original intent, I read somewhere in a search looking for what people experience near death of a family that had this little girl who had been there to welcome quite a few of the members and be with them as they entered the spiritual realm fully.(As opposed to partly, which is what those who are dying experience their last days.) The family didn't know who she was - I kind of wonder if she was someone from a few hundred years ago who was perhaps a stillborn child or something. It's hard to say.

I jsut know reunions are so much fun, and he is there celebrating with his loved ones who went before him who knew Christ as Saviour - and, of course, those who die before the age when they can understand the need for it.

And yet, God gives us abundant life here, too, as the linked site discusses along with presenting that plan of salvation. that abundance isn't always physical blessings. This man was a child of the Great Depression, fought in World War Two and saw much bloodshed there, and lost a child himself at a young age. And yet, he had an abundant lie because he knew there was something better, and more important, Jesus Christ wasn't just his 'Savioiur. This great uncle had realized he was a sinner, believed that Jesus Christ - God in flesh - had died to take the punishment for his sins and risen from the dead, and called on Jesus to save him and get him to Heaven. However, Jesus was much more to him. He was a comforter, guide, helper, friend, and so much more.

We are all called to be servants, to help others. that girl, somehow was appointed by God, perhaps as a prayer of hers after a wonderful if very short life, to helping to comfort others. But God ultimately is the one who uses her, just as He has done a few little things like what I mentioned to help me know you're there waiting for me someday. (I don't even know where that thread or even message board is now, but you can tell that girl i said "hello." :-) )

God is personal. He wants a relationship with each of us. He desires to help us through all the problems of life. He is just waiting for us to come to Him and to trust Him to help us instead of trying to do it all ourselves. Then, He will give us all we need. Not all that we want, but all we need when we need it. So, we we don't have it, we must not need it.

Even with something as final in this life as death, however, God gives us grace and strength to get through it in a wonderful way. Soemtimes with little reminders of that loved one, sometimes in other ways.

So, when you see that fellow up there, and you show him around, who knows. he might provide you with some memories of how God helped him with the loss of his son decads ago. I'm curious to know if he knows who you are right away; I think I did mention in a Christmas card or birthday card a couple years ago about my faith that I had a child in haven.

But, I know one thing for sure. I can jsut imagine your sweet voice insisting whenever I wonder that, "It's a surprise, Daddy." Just another of those little things God gives me - easier by far becasue of my being sucha  visual thinker.

So, have a wonderful time greeting him and everyone else in my family, and I look forward to that great reunion we who know Christ as Saviour will have someday. Including with all those who - because I post this - have read and have been comforted and perhaps even trusted Christ as Sviour because of this. I'm sure there will be some. And, because of that, you - like that other girl - are blessing people even though you never had a chance to live yourself on this earth.

Till we meet in Heaven.

Love,

Daddy

Fun dream, what Heaven will be like

Hi, sweetheart. I know you will say "It's a surprise Daddy," but I wonder what you would enjoy sportswise. Would you be a big baseball fan? I imagine you doing stuff I like, but I was thinking about it with the World Series. Of course, it's possible that eventually you would like things a lot different than I do. Or at least different teams.

It's hard to know why some people like some things and not others. I know that I have enjoyed following whatever you did because it was something you loved. And, that's the way I would want any guy who fell in love with you to be. Someone who thought you so precious, so wonderful and caring, that he would always give himself for you. After all, a relationship is supposed to be about giving.

Jesus showed us the perfect example of that when he, God in flesh, came to this world to die for our sins and rise from the dead. He took each of our punishments, and all someone has to do is call on Him by faith to forgive and save them from their sins - anyone can visit Jesus2020.com to see more - it's just that you died below the age of accountability, likely before you were even born for me to adopt. So, you celebrate up there, and watch things like the World Series, if you're interested, and make you wonder if the Cubs will ever win another pennant.

I think about this dream I had, too. I was in something like Heaven with a large grassy field. I knew was a dream and somehow that you might be there for a moment. You were running by in your bare feet and a white robe like the Bible tells us the saints will be in Heaven when we celebrate. Then, I hugged you and we laughed together for a moment so joyfullyjust as I know we'll celebrate for real someday.

I know it wasn't really you in that dream, but, it's so nice to know that God gives us little gifts like that when we trust him, when he knows we need a little encouragement and strength to make it through. Just like at times I will have the image of you cheering me on as I try to get through this life where people sometimes don't care about others the way they should, and only care about money and don't try to help the little guy. You may not realize it but even so you weren't born for me to adopt, God is using you. Just as he can use any of us when we make ourselves available.

I love you so much, sweetheart, but I love Jesus even more. Because whether it's that or the image of a batter patiently waiting for a pitch or whatever it is, he knows each of us and what we need most.

It can be so frustrating and disheartening to never have the money, to see it be so expensive to adopt and to have problems that I just can't avoid, and prices keep going up, but I know I have you waiting for me no matter what. And, through serving Jesus I have rewards that cannot be taken away. Yet even if I didn't have those I would serve Him because of how much He has done for me.

Anyway, it was special, and I wonder if that large, grassy field with beautiful scenery around and clear blue sky was like what Heaven is like. I do imagien you just running and playing in your spiritual body - till the Rapture when you'll get your new body that has no sin - all day, so filled with joy, the way a childhood should be. There are so many  who don't have that, but I try to pray for them, as hard as it is with how overwhelming it is , somethign made worse with how my brain processes things. And, of course, you're also so excited to have Jesus around.

It's interesting, the new Jerusalem Revelation 21 and 22 talk about doesn't describe the earth except there is "no more sea," but I can imagine it being so wonderful, with such blissful scenery taht we can celebrate as God's creationt he way we were meant to.

But, before, the Millennial Kingdom? What will the kids do who rule and reign with Jesus? It will be so much fun to see. Maybe you'll be playmates for the kids born in the Kingdom who will still need to trust Christ as Sviour. Maybe you'll be encouraging us, too.

Whatever it is, it's more wonderful than we can imagine. And, I can see why you like to say (in my imagination) "It's a surprise, Daddy." Because, it is better than any dream we can have. I don't know why I asked the Lord a few tiems for one like that to see you, except that i guess being such a visual thinker sometimes that helps a lot more. But, hving had that dream, I realize it's just something more to praise God for, as in His goodness He realizes we are so fragile and have so much trouble in this life. So, when we trust Him and realize we can't do it ourselves, He gives us whatever help we need - and He knows better than us what we need when we need it. His wisdom and ways are perfect.

But, I know that's no surprise to you up there. You get to see Jesus face tof ace, as I will someday.

Till that special time, I will make it down here because I know the Lord is guiding me with His unconditional love. And, i pray others who read this are similarly encouraged to trust Him with all their heart.

Till we meet,

Love,

Daddy

Till the Lord returns, plus something for those reading if millions vanish

Hi, Wweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly daddy again. I actually had one ready I forgot to post so there's a post right below this, too. I don't know how much you can follow of this world, or want to, given the problems of this world. Indeed, it's gotten so bad some say the Lord will return for us.

Indeed, some people might read this after millions have disappeared all at once, including children. If so, we'll be together with Jesus in the air, and those young enough will be there with us as God protects them from His wrath, just as I know while you weren't born, at least you were protected from this world's problems.

I pray after such vanishings people will read this - also, among good links at that blog, this video will help people know what will happen in the end times and how to trust Jesus to save them from their sins, as I discuss elsewhere here. I don't know when that'll happen, but I pray the above URLs will be copied so people are able to find them when the last of the End Times come - the Tribulation.

Back to the present, I've been considering how different our family is. Genetically there is something that makes us so much more easy going, more well behaved and not as rebellious. Of course, we are saved by grace through faith in God's gift. We must each trust Christ as Saviour on our own and not our own works. But, it is easier for some to resist temptation than others.

Anyway, I wonder. What would you have been like. I know that, when adopting, I'd have had the chance to choose some qualities. But depending on how old you were it might have been hard to say what you would have been like.

Of course, I'd have loved you no matter what you were like. I had templates in my mind of how to handle different situations, what different kids were like, so I knew how to handle a lot of different things. With how I process things, I even practice in my mind and out loud. It helps people with the type of brain I have to practice. And yet, I'd have gone with however I had to handle things with you very easily, too, because I knew the Lord would be the one guiding me.

Communication is so confusing sometimes. Maybe you'd have had better ideas that I would have over how to handle it.

The important thing is, I'd have kept you away from the worst, and you have been in an environment of love. & unconditional love is more vital than one can imagine.

I don't know how long it'll be till the Lord returns, the dead in Christ rise first, and will remain are caught up together to be with in the air. However, I've been thinking about what I might be doing in the Millennial Kingdom.

What does that have to do with the previous topic? Well, it's connected by this. People won't need wills and estates much, if at all, and I really don't like law like I did. I think my interest in having a steady career in a situation where the Lord was leading me was the important part. And, I see now that part of why He led me there was so I could have my own practice, have my own hours, and do so much ministry. Things haven't always been perfect in that area, but I don't need to go into detail about that.

I will, however, mention that - in addition to the radio show I co host and other ministry things - I'll need something. it would be nice to continue to work with young people. I have asked the Lord for a number of things, some of which were more rash but all of which were with the goal of letting others know of Jesus Christ's love and forgiveness.

So, while I would love to see baseball resume, and in fact think it would be great to have young people's sports as part of a ministry, I don't need it to happen. I don't need to see, for instance, in the Millennial Kingdom, instead of the national anthem a short devotional coming before every game. It would be lots of fun. But I will love just being with Jesus so much!

I just hope and pray that whatever it is, you can come with me and enjoy it as I do.

There are many things I wonder. How our mansions will be designed, weather we will have mansions neighboring those we are closest to or what, and so on. It's so much fun just imagining you - as I ask that - whispering in my ear, it's a surprise Daddy.

Still, I love to consider all of that. I'll be so excited just to see the Lord, but He promises we will rule and reign with Him, so we must be doing something there.

I can't wait to see you, and share the joyful eternity we'll have together.

Till we meet,

Love, Daddy

Joy of family, weddings, celebrating, knowing Jesus

Hi, Sweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly daddy again. I forgot to post this, but a few months ago, we had wonderful wedding for a cousin of mine. We have such a great family, and all would have been super helping you to grow when I adopted you. This one is the fourth of five to get married, land he like the others has found the most wonderful spouse. We all get along so well, because of the great love God has and how we celebrate that love.

Of course, a personal relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ is the most important one, and the fact that is how I am able to both speak with you through this and know that I will see you someday. I know that had other decisions been made you would have been born and available for me to adopt. I will always love and cherish you even though I couldn't adopt you here. In fact, the trust in the Lord allows me to know I will know you as your daddy and you as my child someday.

But, the relationship of a parent to that child is very special, too. It is a special one that isn't always biological, it is based on who shows that love and tenderness and mercy and the example of Jesus Christ that we should all be. The one who raises the child to love the Lord and teaches them to care because they want to and not because they have to, because it's not love if you are forced to love.

I love you, Sweetheart, and I know as I watched that wedding and the celebration afterward, I saw you in the little ones having so much fun, all the way up to the bride and groom. Because, who knows, maybe my going forward was the Lord getting me to realize the while I never had the money to adopt, had I had the money He would have had me adopting 10 to 12 years earlier then when I went forward, stepping out in faith to adopt. So, it's possible you would have been having fun with my cousins little ones, or maybe I'd be the father of a beautiful bride or fabulous groom sometime around now.

Those who do not know the Lord Jesus Christ personally, who have not called on him to forgive them for their sins and make them new inside, they might go on saying that they will never know you. But, I will not do that. I know I will know you someday. At that great marriage supper of the Lamb, we will indeed celebrate together. I have known such joy and feel complete because of the Lord filling those holes in my heart just like He will fill the holes in anyone's heart. I know you didn't have had the chance to attend this wedding physically, but you were there in spirit like the grandparents mentioned and anyone else who was missed. And the important thing is, one day we will celebrate together. Till the time, God continues to remind me of His perfect love for me and how He is taking special care of you. Well I couldn't show you God's love here on earth, you know that love for yourself, and perhaps a lot more too. That is what matters.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

Serving the Lord for His glory, but knowing you're happy for me, too

Hi sweetheart,

I heard about a couple of your playmates up there in Heaven in a recent sermon. I know, Daddy is being silly again, huh? I don't know who you play with up there or what you do, but I know it's fun. And, I'm sure you know so many wonderful kids up there who wound up dying before the age of accountability or getting saved at a young age and then dying.

I know better than to ask you if you know these particular kids that a visiting pastor mentioned. I know you'd just say, "It's a surprise, Daddy." What's important is that faith that I told this pastor about when I mentioned you.

I am anxious to see you, but we don't know when Jesus will return. Oh, there are certainly many signs that point to it being very soon. However, if those turn out to be merely signs of things moving forward and not of Christ's return very soon, I will still have faith.

It's interesting to think how you would have handled such things. I told one person I would likely want a girl because they express their emotions more easily and I can't understand nonverbal cues well, but there are boys who do and, well, this rambling is just to say maybe you would be more anxious about it, but I would be able to be a calming influence as we discussed how stuff worked. I would try hard to be a great example of Jesus Christ and the solid foundation He gives us, so when problems came you could be sure of something that never wavered.

I am getting ahead here, but it would hopefully help you to understand God's plan to focus on Him and not worry so much about love of other people in your teen years and beyond, because what matters most is your future mate love Jesus first. It's like a Facebook saying I saw, be so in love with God your future mate has to seek God with all their heart to find you.

Daddy's really silly now, huh? Even if you had been born and I adopted you, the Lord might have returned well before you started to date or court, huh?

And to think this started because of the visiting pastor mentioning kids who died of rare diseases before they ever went through that, anyway. 

Still, it's the kind of thing which pops into my head and at times it helps to share even though you're up there away from all these problems. I guess it's from a desire I always have to help others, and it's a bit sad sometimes when I'm not used of God to help you. 

But, then the Lord shows me all the ways I do help and all I can do, even this blog is probably touching some who might have lost a child. And, they can imagine theirs as I do you, watching from Heaven and encouraging me. They can realize God made this world perfect, but man chose to sin and brought evil into the world. Yet God will get them through all the pain that results and one day take them home to His perfect Heaven, to be forever with no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin, where nobody can imagine the wonders that await us.

That same wonderful place you are right now. Where you're waiting for me and their kids are waiting for them. As long as that person has made a heart and mind decision to accept they are sinners, believe that Jesus Christ died for their sins, to take their punishment, and rose from the dead, and choose to call on Jesus to save them from their sins, forgive them, and make them new on the inside.

We are each only a single, sincere prayer of repentance away from eternal life. Is that eternal life begins at the moment one turns from their sins and trust Jesus Christ to forgive them.

As I help in our church's Bible School soon, I'll work so God may be glorified, because it is His perfect goodness and mercy that matters, our work for Him that is rewarded in heaven. Still, I will also know you are ready to celebrate with the angels when these young people get saved. And, who knows, you might just turn to one of those friends like I mentioned, or maybe who were killed, or whatever happened that they died so young, from thousands of years ago, and say proudly, "That's my Daddy."

I don't need to hear that to know that you're there waiting for me, but it's fun to know that God is faithful and he will keep bringing people to Him just like the many who got saved at our church camp until it's time for the Lord to call us home. And, even after that, many will be getting saved during the Tribulation.

And, no matter when the Lord calls us, I will keep serving Him until He does, because I want Him to be glorified. Because, Jesus Christ is the one who saved my soul and gave me you, as a special blessing who has gone before me to Heaven to be with Him.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

A simple "hello"

Hi Sweetheart.

Recently, I closed out one of those fun pretend threads on an alternate history site where 1983 in the USA was sent back to 1783. I adopted a girl there, and had fun imagining her up to this point when she graduated, which I thought high school graduation would be a perfect place to close my participation in it. Others had lost interest for a while, but it was a joy to do this.

Of course, you'll forgive me if you are a boy, although for some reason I do sometimes picture you as a girl, though that is probably because of this roleplay thread. Or, maybe the Lord is giving me one little snippet of information about you. Of course, I know that you would giggle and whisper "It's a surprise, Daddy."

The thread, in the alien space bats section of alternatehistory.Com, was started by someone else, but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Of course, there will be other things where I will imagine you there, little pieces of what life would have been like with you. And each time, I am reminded that you are experiencing so much joy up there in Heaven. It would have been a joy to know you, but it will be a joy to know you one day and that is what is important. In the meantime, whatever next adventure awaits, I know you are watching and I enjoy trying to make you proud. of course, I especially want to serve the Lord in what I do. But, you are just more and more little way in which Jesus gives me peace despite the difficulties of this world. And, I hope that others realize the same special thing I do, the joy of a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Each of us must simply repent of their sins and trust Jesus Christ by faith to forgive them. It's as easy as admitting 1 is a sinner and cannot reach heaven themselves, believing that Jesus Christ God in flesh died to take the punishment for their sins and rose from the dead, and call on Jesus by faith to forgive them and turn away from their sins and their heart and invite Jesus to come live in them through the Holy Spirit. It is a personal choice, a heart and mind decision. 

And, when they do, God will hear them and help them through anything. As long as they trust Him to do so. 

This has been an unusual blog as well. I don't know how many other times I will post here, but something may come to me just as has it other times after a lull. But one thing I am certain about, I believe God has used this to help others as well. So, I am thankful that while I won't know you in this life, I can know you and we can enjoy forever together. That forever is so wonderful. Because it will be forever with God Himself in his perfect Heaven, where there will be no pain, no suffering, no tears, and where we can't even fathom the wonders that await us.

That is so much more amazing than we can fathom. More amazing than any fictional story.

Till we meet,

Love, Daddy

Little reminders that God is watching over us

Hi, Sweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly Daddy again. I just had a wonderful experience sharing a Bible study with a man who is, well, a little challenged. He wouldn't mind me saying what I have told him, that he views the Bible the way its child would, with awestruck wonder at God's creation. He sees the simple things in life so well, and his questions to me when he calls with Bible questions are somewhat simple but in some ways so profound.

Why am i sharing? It just made me think of how we might be studying the Bible, had you been born. You'd have so many fun questions for me, maybe at times simpler than his, but it would just be so much fun. And, as you grew, you would gain more understanding and start asking questions about things like the Godhead, which i tried to explain but couldn't because I'm just a mere person. (Though showing him Colossians 2:9 and a few verses after helped.).I'm sure you'd rely on the Holy Spirit as well as me to understand the King James Bible - the one fr5om the original Antiochan texts - so well. (It's actually got fewer archaic words and simpler language than other versions like the NIV. Yeah, I'm being silly, you know that, huh?)

Thankfully, I would be able to share my faith with you, and help you to understand God's love. You would be seeing it in how I treat you, as well. So, hopefully you would have come to know Jesus Christ as your Saviour by calling on Him to save you from your sins at an early age, and you would enjoy that personal relationship with Him. Indeed, hopefully you would be reading the Bible like this man does, always excited at looking at the relationships and just exploring in your mind what it was like to be alive back then, to be each of the figures in each story. 

That's where I say, he looks at it like I imagine you doing so. With that awestruck sense of wonder at the love of God, and trying to imagine what it was like to see Jesus face to face. You would ask, as he did, things like how could they reject Jesus after seeing the miracles that He did and after looking in God's Word at the Old Testament and what was prophesied. And, we would have fun talking about who we'll see up in Heaven.

Of course, you are up there now, and you probably have perfect understanding of all of those situations like my friend asks about, some of which even I am mystified by a little. We all have so much to learn about God's Word, and we can see so much new  each time we read. Of course, you know Jesus personally up there.

In fact it's funny. As I was helping my friend understand a few things about the passage he had questions about, the Holy Spirit ministered to me and I sensed the Lord reminding me that, yes, you are up in Heaven, but Jesus gives me little things like that or hints of what it would have been like, to help me to know that He, Jesus Christ, my personal Savior, is helping me through everything, and that I'm still getting a taste of those joys in anticipation of what will come when we do meet, because I've trusted in Him.

There have been other times, some things I've mentioned here, some I haven't, that I know the Lord is guiding me and helping me to see that even if I can't be with you here on earth, I can have those special little opportunities. And, I can trust Him, because I have put my trust in Him by calling on Jesus Christ to forgive me and save me from my sins, through His death ont he cross and His bodily resurrection. I know I can trust Him to get me to Heaven, and to watch over you till I get there.

Till the glorious day when we meet,

Love,
Daddy

Missing only for a time

Sweetheart, 

Yes, I'm writing again a little sooner than last time. I was taking a number of more wintery items upstairs and thinking about the smaller amount of space in this house.

Oh, its not that bad, you would have had a wonderful attic bedroom in a bungelow (how do you spell that?) since I have an office in the 2nd bedroom downstairs, and you'd have plenty of room for a bed(there anyway), a couch/chairs, and room for toys and such. It might have been a little cramped when it comes to clothing, but you'd have had enough space for a small dresser and things like that, and as you grew and put things in the closet where kids' books and those stuffed animals I mentioned are now I'd have some of my clothes in there still, and we'd have had lots of fun laughing about how you were going to trick me into taking some of your clothes downstairs for myself whenever I went to exchange winter and summer stuff. We'd have had so much fun laughing together and enjoying life, that the difficult times wouldn't have been so bad because we'd have been family. And indeed, I feel like that now, even separated by a dimension - me being in the physical and you in the spiritual realm.

I couldn't give you a mommy either. In some ways maybe that is one thing which held me back, kept me from stepping out in faith to look into adopting earlier. But, I know my mom would have been there for you, and you'd have found wonderful friends whose mothers could be your surrogate mother (I know a few who consider their friends' moms as second mothers even if they have good moms, they call them doptive mothers because they adopted the mother :-)). Plus, of course, I have the love and compassion and sweetness where I go overboard with it in fact. You'd have had wonderful people at church to help also. I know we could have made it work. 

I'm sure, at times, we'd talk about how you wish you could have a mommy; who knows, maybe you would have tried to set me up with people and one might have worked out. Just like if things had gone differently one of those I liked at church might have worked out, but each of them was too busy with studies and work at that point when i was looking 15-20 years ago.

God had other plans though, and we'd have talked about how things are very special anyway. Just like you might have thought about how it would be great if we had a much bigger house, but we talked about how it was special anyway, with the lumpy backyard and funny things like that. And, how we'd have Heavenly mansions to look forward to once you trusted Christ as your Savior just as I had trusted Him as mine. Indeed, in a way, this is sort of sharing those discussions just as I posted earlier about what it might have been like in other ways, who you would most be like, etc..

Of course, now you are celebrating in yours ahead of time. I think of asking what it's like and how that actually works for those who weren't born, and I get that cute image of you saying "It's a surprise, Daddy." And, I'm excited and anxiously awaiting the big surprise.

Because, I know Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the dead, & I have called on Him and put my trust in Him to save me and get me to Heaven by simple faith, and not because of anything I have done. And, that is just the way you are there too. It's all because of Jesus for those who die before the age of accountability..

So, I know while things didn't work out here, we will have forever together someday. That is the important part. It is what I'd have emphasized down here when we talked about you not having the mommy you might have wanted or a bigger house. And, yeah that's what I focus on now, knowing that this momentary absence will be nothing compared to the glory of seeing our Lord Jesus Christ and celebrating forever in Heaven.

Until that time, I know you are in the best hands possible, those of our Lord.

So, till we meet, those things I lack are just reminders that someday, because of Jesus, everything will be made right for those who trust Him, as his Word says we shall rule and reign with him.

Till we meet,

Love,
Daddy.

Ice Cream - in This Weather? (Ramblings from Febrary to now)

Hi, Sweetheart,

Sweetheart,

I had this as a draft but didn't post it, it was just one or two little comments but I decided to add it as well as my other post. It's from February, when the weather was a lot worse here. But, I just discovered it again.

So, I'm adding it to what I had written about a vacation, because it made sense to just combine the two. And, it shows how great it is I don't need to be adding to this blog all the time, or even much at all.

One of those silly things we adults do, my mom felt like getting some ice ream at the store the other day to have with a pie she was making, so I got a few scoops from my parents along with a piece of pie for dessert.

Ice cream when the high barely got above zero seems quite silly, but it made me smile with joy as I imagined doing that with you; after all, kids aren't so set in their ways that they realize how silly it is to have ice cream in zero degree weather.

Or, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's just odd to me.

Either way, kids bring such joy to life, and the great thing is the Lord has given me so many little joy, some of which came to my mind as I went on vacation recently. It's so fun to joke about those things for my Heavenly mansion. I continue to just imagine you saying with anticipation, "It's a surprise, Daddy" to the point I don't ponder whether I'll have a swimming pool or whethere there will be beaches (though I'd think givent he many different nations and peoples a variety of mansion types will be there). I just know Jesus has something wonderful.  Just like when I went forward to step out of the boat and trust that Lord to help me adopt you. And, though it turned out, from the way God has directed my prayers, you didn't end up being born,  I know you are one of those great surprises Jesus has for me.

In the meantime, so many fun things come. My family, like me, loves to see joy in all those little things. Just like I know you would. There are many times I somehow know He's showing me that same type of joy can still occur. For instance, the excitement that my mom gets showing me things on her cellphone, or pictures she's taken. I just know you would be the same way, so thrilled to show me the picture of a bird - though maybe not with fish in its claws, but who knows - or of something else you may have done. Whether in dance or baseball or some other sports, it wouldn't matter if you weren't the best, as long as you had fun. Facebook provides me with joys like seeing friends whose kids do things like coloring eggs for Easter and things like that, and just the joy of seeing others enjoy themselves is enough.

And of course the knowledge that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead and thinking of the thrill when you would have invited Jesus into your life and heart as your personal Savior. Now, I don't need to worry about when that would happen because I know you are there, in Heaven, because Jesus Christ died for you before you could understand that need each of us has to receive Him by simple faith, calling on him to forgive you and save you from the penalty for your sins, a penalty He took upon Himself when He died and then rose again the third day..

I have that huge stuffed animal collection as well, and while I don't get to see you amazed at it I have seen cousins and nieces and nephews be so amazed at seeing it for the first time. And I know you're up there amazed seeing it from there too, and I won't ask anything else in that area because I know your answer: "I can't tell you; it's a surprise Daddy."

I can't wait for that great big surprise. I know it's Jesus preparing my Heavenly mansion, but in a small way it's sort of fun to imagine you have any tiny part, just like when a parent will help that child get a Mother's or Father's Day gift for their spouse. A 3 year old, for instance, can't do much more than point to a color they might like, but its still fun and special. It's  the thought that counts, and I believe that you think of me in some small way even as you spend most of your time playing up there, and finding even more things to be amazed by than i could ever imagine here on earth, I'm sure.

I haven't needed to write a lot - and didn't even at first, though it helped. But, it's still nice to note times like this and look forward while also being thankful for what the Lord has done. I don't know what all you follow down here, but I know you understand I can't wait to get there and give you a great big hug. because Jesus is the reason I will be there, the reason any of us have life, but that special treasure I prayed for I know is up in Heaven waiting for me. I just thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for giving you to me. And I am grateful to Him for forgiving me so you and I can enjoy is perfect Heaven together someday.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy.

On little disappointments like the Super Bowl

Hi, Sweetheart.

I just got a bunch of pictures put in albums while watching only little bits of the Super Bowl, though this won't get posted till I sent it from my phone to my e-mail and then paste it in here the next day  I really didn't care for this game since the Packers lost, but if the Seahawks had won at least I could have said they were a team of destiny. Yet the game I planned to watch,  Len Barker's perfect game,  I'd never seen and I couldn't pull myself away to just listen and glance up from time to time to watch;  it was too interesting. Ironic since I knew the outcome. (PS: I have it on now. :-) )

But, I got that done and got to bed early now so I can get up bright and early and maybe shovel snow or whatever comes with our confused weather. 

I won't ask about sports in Heaven,  I know you'd just say it's a surprise.  But, it made me think of all those little disappointments you don't have to go through up there.  Teams losing you so wanted to win, times rain ruined plans, and so on. I've said I'm glad you didn't have to see how evil this world is, much worse than when I grew up, but when the only part of something one calls "evil" is the innocent fun of a dynasty that keeps winning,  that's where you can learn to rely on the fact God is still in control and many other good things can happen. Yet, you can learn that in a safe way without having to suffer, when you follow sports. Sure, it's a disappointment the Packers didn't make it, but that's okay.

I so wanted to be your Daddy  down here and help you through all that . I prayed hard, as I've said, but you are there instead, and I know we'll meet someday. It's one of those sadder parts of life, much more than a game. But, sports can help prepare us for the worse things, and yet help us remember there will be another game,  another season. Maybe with different players but with the chance again to see success. For some, it's realizing it could be worse. It's possible someone reading this didn't just have what I did - a heartfelt desire to adopt and end up led by the Lord to dedicate that little to serving like Hannah did Samuel, leaving him to be raised in the temple, showing me that your life ended before I had the chance to adopt you. It's possible a reader has lost a child they knew or had a miscarriage.  I can't imagine that kind of pain, and hope they know you and their little one are probably good friends up there, laughing and playing together so happily. 

Anyway, as I was saying, some just look at the bright side, others remind themselves it could be worse. Some focus instead in what baseballists 150 years ago called the "patience of hope," that good will come next time, even if that takes a while to come. Any of these make it easy for me to keep going till that day God says it's over and you ride with the angels to come take me home to see my Saviour and yours, Jesus Christ.

It's His if s death on the cross and rising from the dead that makes it possible. When one calls on Jesus to forgive them and save them from their sins,  He comes into that heart He's been invited into and gives the peace that passes understanding,  perfect love, comfort,  joy, so much more, when we trust Him to. I pray others who read this share about Him readily,  or at least visit one of the sties where I volunteer like  Godlife.com or Jesus2020.com where they can learn more and communicate with someone via secure email. 

And, I trust that while you don't worry or have disappointment in Heaven, you understand what I'm saying,  at least. Life can be hard on this world at times, mostly due to those big problems and not the little ones like a lost game. Some of those little problems - constant rising in property taxes and other things, thigns wearing out like I've had, etc. - can seem big if we take our minds off God and His care for us. However, God is good all the time, and will help us through anything when we trust Him.

He's the Creator of the universe, after all. And, it's so exciting to know that if you couldn't be born for me to adopt, at least you have the best seat possible to watch us go through evrrythung, and I'm sure laugh at some of the things we do, like.focus so much on sports instead of just having fun with them.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

thanks fro the snow - little reminders

Sweetheart,

Was that you knocking some snow off the roof?

It ws so neat. I was waiting for the dog to come in from out back so I could go watch the Packer game with some friends, and with my photographic memory, something clicked and made me think of one of those little things I'd daydream about, you stubbornly wanting to march off into the snow without a coat on, then me kneeling down with open arms waiting for you to come running back in, gently whispering about how I let you do that so you'd learn and listen when I told you "no" on bigger things.

And just then, some snow fell off jsut one little bit of the awning - right in the middle. It hadn't been disturbed by anything, and no other snow fell. It's like an angel - or maybe you :-) - did just enough to remind me,you were up there waiting, that while I may not know you here on Earth, God has answered my prayer and i now have a little one - maybe a big one, I don't know and i know you'll say "It's a surprise" - waiting for me when my time here is done.

I see so many problems and I can understand why He knew best about giving me a child who never made it to my arms. Just like that image I had of letting you march out into the snow a few feet like I know little kids will do at times. God knows what's best, and He knows this is a fallen world, heading for disaster with all the sin in it. ANd, couple that with how it's hard for me to read others' intentions sometimes, while I know you'd have grown into a wonderful, loving young person who would help me, and I have a great family and freinds, maybe it was jsut a bit too hard for me.

Or, more likely, God had you all ready for me to take home and to love and sahre His grace and mercy with, and He simply chose not to intervene in the affairs of man because He doesn't want us to be mindless robots and He doesn't want to defy physics all the time.

this fallen world is filled with sin, but Go didn't make it that way. He made it perfect, without sin, but gave us free will, nd we chose to turn from Him. We all say, think, and do things which displease God, and that sin is what seperates us from His perfect heaven, where there is no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin, no death. That wonderful place where you are.

And, each of us here on earth is only a single, sincere prayer of repentence away from eternal life. that prayer to Jesus is as easy as ABC - Admit you're a sinner and fall short of God's perfection, Believe Jesus Christ, God in flesh, died to take your punishment and rose from the dead, and Choose to Call on Jesus; Call on Him to save you from your sins, to forgive yu and come into your heart and make you new inside.

I have had the joy of leading people to Christ. Maybe someone reading this blog will pray that sinner's prayer, in their own words trusting Jesus Christ by faith to save them. I pray that they do.

The beauty is that kids below the age of accountability go to heaven anyway, because it is not by works but by grace we are saved; it is all becasue of His blood that was shed for us.

So, while I never got to share that love with you here on earth, I know God has you up therre with so much joy and fun and laughter and celebration, just as we'll celebrate one day.

And, I know that you love me, too. And, somehow, a small remidner came to me today. it was one of those times that the timing was so perfect it had to be God at work.

But, I always know you're there. It just helped me to remember that and focus ont he task at hand, reaching others with that wonderful Gospel message. Becaue I know my Redeemer lives. And, one say I shall see Him face to face. And see you.

I don't know if we'll have snow or anything up there - I'm not sure if we'll have weather, period. but, I know we'll have loads of fun. And, I can still hear, as easily as if you're sitting in my lap before bedtime, you saying, "Shhh, it's a surprise, Daddy." because that's how a photographic memory works.

I can't wait for that surprise King Jesus has waiting. And, I'm so glad you can be a part of it. If I don't post any more, you'll know I still care. But, if i do think about it, who knows. Maybe there'll be another little reminder; or maybe that will remain with me now as one. Helping me know you are up there waiting and I don't have to worry about awaiting one down here, though if the Lord opens the door I will adopt. But, i have a precious angel - actually, tehnicappy a precious little saint :-) - waiting to welcome me home.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy.