I opened a razor that was maybe 10 years old today. Your silly Daddy could just imagine you asking all sorts of questions - why did I wait so long, etc..
My mom and ad retired within a couple years of each other soona fter, and so had bought a number of thigns for me to have in reserve - I already had an electric razor in reserve because I had forgotten one on vacation in 1991. The one from the late '80s went kaput - the engine finally wore out in it - and so theone from '91, which had been used sparingly since - is now the main one.
It would have helped a lot, as I may have said, to adopt while my parents were still healthy (Mom still is, Dad's okay but has Parkinson's) and able to get around a lot better, due to my handicaps. I coudl still adopt now, of course, but I guess part of why I was so anxious and begged the Lord for a little one finally is because I knew it wouldn't be quite as easy, at least not to have a newborn.
So, the Lord urged me to go forward and believe in faith He could give me a child and the money to adopt that child, and then just when thigns seemed ready suddenly the money wasn't there coming in like I expected, and while He blessed me with you, He also showed me how I needed to trust Him with you. And so, your daddy's here on earth anxiously awaiting that time we can meet face to face.
It would have been so much fun to tell you how excited I was so often about having you, and how much I love you, and sharing your story with you so you would know how much i cared. I guess in a way I still can. I mean, I'm doing this, I imagine little bits and pieces of of things like you peppering me with questions for many minutes. It's not the same as raising you here on Earth, but I do feel, in some smallway, that I do know you.
And I promise I'm not going to say "I hope you don't mind not knowing me yet" becasue I know you're going to say, "Silly dady, I in Heaven!Remember?" And, I laugh at that giggle you probably have at my silliness, and it makes me feel good, becasue I know that you are well cared for, that you're enjoying it so much up there, where nobody has seen or heard or even imagined the wonders that await us.
Meanwile, I'm down here, but not down. Because I trusted the Lord Jesus Christ, God in flesh, to take the punishment for my sins. I believed by faith that what He did on the cross - when He died and rose fromt he dead - took all the punishment for my sins, and I called on Him by faith to save me from my sins. I know I'm going to Heaven now, only because of what Jesus did, I know I can't make it on my own merit.
But you, you have that chance to get there becasue jesus saves to the uttermost, and you died before you could understand that need to be saved, even before you were born. And so, I know we shall meet, and you can tell me about all the joyful thigns you've seen and experienced when I get up there.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to adopt on this earth; I'm in my mid-40s and money just never worked out yet. But, I know no matter what, I have a little one who makes me smile just in my imagining, and is a very special person to me. I may not be able to physically tell you that, but I'm sure you know. And, that's what important.
Love,
Daddy
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
On love, "I love you," nonverbal language
Sweetheart,
I can imagine your “I love you”s so easily. I know you do. Just like I know Jesus loves me.
Sometimes it’s so important to hear that. I heard it every day when I was little, often several tiems a day. I’d have done the same for you, because I know it’s important to hear that.
There’s a great book called “Five Love Languages,” I forget who wrote it, but the way I show love most is by helping others. Sometiems that means that, combined with my not getting hidden meanings and tones and such, I can be tricked into paying a bit more for something because I don’t get how unusual is is, for instance, to need help with the lines inside my house when it comes to the phone. There’s too many people who only want your money and who don’t want to tell you there’s a very slim chance of you needing such help. Or even helping you understand the outside lines aren’t the same thing.
That makes me feel unloved at tiems till I remember how much I am loved, especially by Jesus. I wonder what your “love language” would have been. It’s sometimes different in how we feel love than in how we express it.I think mine’s the same but part of why I feel loved by others helping me is because of my handicaps. So, it might be a bit different.
I’d have taught you to show love, respect,a nd appreciation. A while ago the Lord reminded me of some times I’ve heard it from kids in our church, either a thanks or something they made my co-teacher and I for Christmas or pictures they drew. Even without those little things, I always feel “these people love me” at my church, and I’m so happy about that.
So, the Lord’s helped me realize I’m loved, but while I know you are in Heaven where you can love on Jesus and he provides so much love back, I’m writing this just to say “I love you” to you. I know you know it. But, the best way to feel loved sometimes is to love others; as we do, so shall it be done unto us.
And, I’m sure you know. I just over-empathize at times, once I know something’s a concern, I feel overly much for them. I guess I overcompensate for the fact I don’t read things as well, but pick up the basics very well.I know a nod means “yes” but just don’t always pick up when it’s being used for something else – like one time I expressed shock when a friend posted that someone had “nodded hello.” I didn’t know that was possible.
But, as I say, I’d pick up the basics and have gotten to know you well. I’m sure you’d have learned to verbalize well your concerns, and I’d have helped.
Thankfully, you are in Heaven when you don’t have to worry about confusion over that, because not all signs to seem to meant he same thing to everyone. That makes it even more confusing. One day, I will celebrate with you – for as David said of his deceased son, you won’t come to me but I’ll go to you.
Till that wonderful meeting in Heaven, I love you, Sweetheart.
Love, Daddy
I can imagine your “I love you”s so easily. I know you do. Just like I know Jesus loves me.
Sometimes it’s so important to hear that. I heard it every day when I was little, often several tiems a day. I’d have done the same for you, because I know it’s important to hear that.
There’s a great book called “Five Love Languages,” I forget who wrote it, but the way I show love most is by helping others. Sometiems that means that, combined with my not getting hidden meanings and tones and such, I can be tricked into paying a bit more for something because I don’t get how unusual is is, for instance, to need help with the lines inside my house when it comes to the phone. There’s too many people who only want your money and who don’t want to tell you there’s a very slim chance of you needing such help. Or even helping you understand the outside lines aren’t the same thing.
That makes me feel unloved at tiems till I remember how much I am loved, especially by Jesus. I wonder what your “love language” would have been. It’s sometimes different in how we feel love than in how we express it.I think mine’s the same but part of why I feel loved by others helping me is because of my handicaps. So, it might be a bit different.
I’d have taught you to show love, respect,a nd appreciation. A while ago the Lord reminded me of some times I’ve heard it from kids in our church, either a thanks or something they made my co-teacher and I for Christmas or pictures they drew. Even without those little things, I always feel “these people love me” at my church, and I’m so happy about that.
So, the Lord’s helped me realize I’m loved, but while I know you are in Heaven where you can love on Jesus and he provides so much love back, I’m writing this just to say “I love you” to you. I know you know it. But, the best way to feel loved sometimes is to love others; as we do, so shall it be done unto us.
And, I’m sure you know. I just over-empathize at times, once I know something’s a concern, I feel overly much for them. I guess I overcompensate for the fact I don’t read things as well, but pick up the basics very well.I know a nod means “yes” but just don’t always pick up when it’s being used for something else – like one time I expressed shock when a friend posted that someone had “nodded hello.” I didn’t know that was possible.
But, as I say, I’d pick up the basics and have gotten to know you well. I’m sure you’d have learned to verbalize well your concerns, and I’d have helped.
Thankfully, you are in Heaven when you don’t have to worry about confusion over that, because not all signs to seem to meant he same thing to everyone. That makes it even more confusing. One day, I will celebrate with you – for as David said of his deceased son, you won’t come to me but I’ll go to you.
Till that wonderful meeting in Heaven, I love you, Sweetheart.
Love, Daddy
Friday, July 25, 2014
On imagination, and being glad you're where you are
You can imagine a cardboard box is anything – a spaceship, a tent, a boat, imagination is so amazing. We lose that as adults. I wonder what it’s like in Heaven. Yeah, I know what you’d say – “Shhh, can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.”
But, maybe it’s a bit of my slight Dandy-Walker Syndrome, which caused my eye problems, maybe it’s my slight cerebral palsy, maybe even a bit of Asperger’s though that’s more likely just PDD-NOS is anything, but that ability to imagine never left me totally.
It’s served me well, with all my writing, fan fiction and otherwise. I don’t know if God gave you a creative mind like mine, but I know when we get to Heaven, we’ll have perfect bodies – what about our minds. Yeah, I know, I don’t mind waiting for the surprise, but it’s one of those things I wonder about. And, I thought it was good to continue my post from last night to make sure it was understood I always knew I was imagining with the “Full Hosue” stuff and all the other daydreaming. And, that’s really what led me to finally pray and say, “Lord, this imagining doesn’t work anymore, it doesn’t satisfy, I need You to bless me.”
It was then I prayed so earnestly for a child, and I dedicated you to Him, because H knew what would happen, and that you would simply be waiting for me in Heaven.
I haven’t given up the thought I could adopt someday, but frankly it looks like the Lord could return in the next few years if not sooner the way things are going. And, I don’t have the intense need in my heart I did when I was praying so hard, because the Lord has given me peace. It’s as if He wanted me to realize this blessing He had for me. Because I don’t feel the need to pretend like I did years ago. It’s still fun to write, but all the fan fiction and stuff just isn’t important to me anymore. I feel a sense of peace.
When children are little, one reason they imagine is just to play and have fun, but another reason is to establish how things work in their minds, it’s as if they know they need to practice because adults are so good at it. (Well, we’re not as perfect as children think – certainly not as perfect as I saw adults when I was little – but that’s neither here nor there.) One you get to be a certain age, that playing gets to be less and less. Sure, pro athletes play for a living. I longed to be able to play baseball in the majors when I was little – and who knows maybe I’ll play some baseball in Heaven. But, ordinarily, that fun of play and pretend dissipates and we have to find fun in other ways – and there is plenty of joy to be had in life when we look for it and keep a positive attitude. I try to do so all the time, in fact.
You missed out on that, but in a way, you’re lucky. You don’t have to worry about how we don’t really let kids be kids like when I was growing up. There’s too much more stress, too little innocence, anymore, though I would have done my best to make it as easy as possible. Indeed, the more I think, I would have home schooled you – our church has quite a few in a co-op who do things together and have neat field trips and stuff like that. You’d have gotten plenty of socialization that way. But, kids don’t even play out in their yards as much anymore. And, I’d have felt so sad that it wasn’t the wonderful life of the 1970s and ‘80s that this was finally the thing that the Lord used to help me see that it’s okay if you weren’t born so I never had the chance to adopt you. It’s not what I wanted, I’d have preferred to adopt you. I don’t know what you think.
Yeah, I know. “Silly Daddy, I’m in Heaven, what do you think?” It is much better there.
But, still, there’s things you didn’t get to experience that I’d have had fun going through with you. Some of that is that imagination and play and so on. But, what I’d want most is to see you happy. And, if that was the best way the Lord could make sure you would be happy and safe from any problems, then I accept it because I know Jesus knows what’s best.
Till that glorious everlasting Day in heaven, so long and thank for listening.
Love, Daddy.
But, maybe it’s a bit of my slight Dandy-Walker Syndrome, which caused my eye problems, maybe it’s my slight cerebral palsy, maybe even a bit of Asperger’s though that’s more likely just PDD-NOS is anything, but that ability to imagine never left me totally.
It’s served me well, with all my writing, fan fiction and otherwise. I don’t know if God gave you a creative mind like mine, but I know when we get to Heaven, we’ll have perfect bodies – what about our minds. Yeah, I know, I don’t mind waiting for the surprise, but it’s one of those things I wonder about. And, I thought it was good to continue my post from last night to make sure it was understood I always knew I was imagining with the “Full Hosue” stuff and all the other daydreaming. And, that’s really what led me to finally pray and say, “Lord, this imagining doesn’t work anymore, it doesn’t satisfy, I need You to bless me.”
It was then I prayed so earnestly for a child, and I dedicated you to Him, because H knew what would happen, and that you would simply be waiting for me in Heaven.
I haven’t given up the thought I could adopt someday, but frankly it looks like the Lord could return in the next few years if not sooner the way things are going. And, I don’t have the intense need in my heart I did when I was praying so hard, because the Lord has given me peace. It’s as if He wanted me to realize this blessing He had for me. Because I don’t feel the need to pretend like I did years ago. It’s still fun to write, but all the fan fiction and stuff just isn’t important to me anymore. I feel a sense of peace.
When children are little, one reason they imagine is just to play and have fun, but another reason is to establish how things work in their minds, it’s as if they know they need to practice because adults are so good at it. (Well, we’re not as perfect as children think – certainly not as perfect as I saw adults when I was little – but that’s neither here nor there.) One you get to be a certain age, that playing gets to be less and less. Sure, pro athletes play for a living. I longed to be able to play baseball in the majors when I was little – and who knows maybe I’ll play some baseball in Heaven. But, ordinarily, that fun of play and pretend dissipates and we have to find fun in other ways – and there is plenty of joy to be had in life when we look for it and keep a positive attitude. I try to do so all the time, in fact.
You missed out on that, but in a way, you’re lucky. You don’t have to worry about how we don’t really let kids be kids like when I was growing up. There’s too much more stress, too little innocence, anymore, though I would have done my best to make it as easy as possible. Indeed, the more I think, I would have home schooled you – our church has quite a few in a co-op who do things together and have neat field trips and stuff like that. You’d have gotten plenty of socialization that way. But, kids don’t even play out in their yards as much anymore. And, I’d have felt so sad that it wasn’t the wonderful life of the 1970s and ‘80s that this was finally the thing that the Lord used to help me see that it’s okay if you weren’t born so I never had the chance to adopt you. It’s not what I wanted, I’d have preferred to adopt you. I don’t know what you think.
Yeah, I know. “Silly Daddy, I’m in Heaven, what do you think?” It is much better there.
But, still, there’s things you didn’t get to experience that I’d have had fun going through with you. Some of that is that imagination and play and so on. But, what I’d want most is to see you happy. And, if that was the best way the Lord could make sure you would be happy and safe from any problems, then I accept it because I know Jesus knows what’s best.
Till that glorious everlasting Day in heaven, so long and thank for listening.
Love, Daddy.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
What would you have been like - eating and other sometimes battles
To my Sweetheart,
I may have people reading this who lost a child, so I saw something today that made me want to post again.
It was my cousin's little girl, almost 2, enjoying a salad being fed to her and feeding herself - with her hands.
I wouldn't have felt comfortable posting you on FB - I don't even have my own picture on there! But, it made me wonder, would you have been a good eater like her and her older cousin? Sure, some kids would rather play and have to be convinced to eat something so they can then have dessert, but I mean in general? It's kind of hard to know since where you are now, you have tastes that range far and wide in your resurrection body. Indeed, it's possible everything tastes like your favorite and you never tire of it. Us silly humans on Earth have such amazing ideas of what Heaven is like.
I've imagined, over the years, how it would be trying to get you to eat, and since I usually ate well - even if it was always spaghetti for a time and my mom had to blend vegetables into the sauce, I still wanted to eat when it was time - I don't usually imagine much problem. I just envision myself getting a shocked look like my mom would if I tried something new.
I've practiced other things, too, over the years - I was doing such practice 20 years ago, in fact. Back then, I knew my handicaps would cause trouble, but I thought I could do it and planned to adopt a lot. But, that wasn't God's plan, I've never had the money. Still, the door was open for a second, till it somehow shut with no warning.
I have had little pleasures - holding a newborn baby, leading a child to Christ, teaching a cousin to tell time on a sleepover, reading to one (and getting so confused I tried to tell the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Pigs - hey, I was into "Peanuts" and such, not nursery stuff. I read a fair deal when I was 3.) I have had so many real adventures, even disciplined a few times with my cousins and one niece. I always have loved to hug and be tender and caring. I'd have been a good dad, and still could, I guess. But, your life ended before it began, before I could adopt you.
I've had fun doing all those little things, and in my imagination I've done so much more. That "Full House" Chronology I'm sure you'd have helped with. That time for a long while I would sporadically pretend I had kids and imagine myself with you at different ages. Yes, it's wasn't just the "Full House" kids, TV and Book universe, I helped to grow. (You could see it, to those who read this, at www-full-house.org under "FullHouse".) I actually imagined and pretended you went off to college, and my imagination's so good I cried when I left you that day. :-) That was one say to let go, pretending you were gone and now married, off somewhere as a missionary. But, this helps too.
Sorry, that ramble was worthy of Danny Tanner. Anyway, I’ve had fun and been able to do things, real and imagined, which help me, but this has been important because as I told the Lord, the imaginary world wasn’t satisfying anymore. I needed to know you if I wasn’t going to adopt. And so, He finally showed me the truth. He’d have opened the doors to let me have you if you’d been born, but now, I just await seeing you in Heaven. I’m anxious to get to know all about you. And, I just know it’s going to be so much fun. In the meantime, I will obey Jesus’ command to occupy till He comes, and be about His business of sharing His love, forgiveness, and salvation with a lost and dying world.
Till we meet, I’m so glad to know you are safe on God’s celestial shore.
Love, Daddy.
I may have people reading this who lost a child, so I saw something today that made me want to post again.
It was my cousin's little girl, almost 2, enjoying a salad being fed to her and feeding herself - with her hands.
I wouldn't have felt comfortable posting you on FB - I don't even have my own picture on there! But, it made me wonder, would you have been a good eater like her and her older cousin? Sure, some kids would rather play and have to be convinced to eat something so they can then have dessert, but I mean in general? It's kind of hard to know since where you are now, you have tastes that range far and wide in your resurrection body. Indeed, it's possible everything tastes like your favorite and you never tire of it. Us silly humans on Earth have such amazing ideas of what Heaven is like.
I've imagined, over the years, how it would be trying to get you to eat, and since I usually ate well - even if it was always spaghetti for a time and my mom had to blend vegetables into the sauce, I still wanted to eat when it was time - I don't usually imagine much problem. I just envision myself getting a shocked look like my mom would if I tried something new.
I've practiced other things, too, over the years - I was doing such practice 20 years ago, in fact. Back then, I knew my handicaps would cause trouble, but I thought I could do it and planned to adopt a lot. But, that wasn't God's plan, I've never had the money. Still, the door was open for a second, till it somehow shut with no warning.
I have had little pleasures - holding a newborn baby, leading a child to Christ, teaching a cousin to tell time on a sleepover, reading to one (and getting so confused I tried to tell the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Pigs - hey, I was into "Peanuts" and such, not nursery stuff. I read a fair deal when I was 3.) I have had so many real adventures, even disciplined a few times with my cousins and one niece. I always have loved to hug and be tender and caring. I'd have been a good dad, and still could, I guess. But, your life ended before it began, before I could adopt you.
I've had fun doing all those little things, and in my imagination I've done so much more. That "Full House" Chronology I'm sure you'd have helped with. That time for a long while I would sporadically pretend I had kids and imagine myself with you at different ages. Yes, it's wasn't just the "Full House" kids, TV and Book universe, I helped to grow. (You could see it, to those who read this, at www-full-house.org under "FullHouse".) I actually imagined and pretended you went off to college, and my imagination's so good I cried when I left you that day. :-) That was one say to let go, pretending you were gone and now married, off somewhere as a missionary. But, this helps too.
Sorry, that ramble was worthy of Danny Tanner. Anyway, I’ve had fun and been able to do things, real and imagined, which help me, but this has been important because as I told the Lord, the imaginary world wasn’t satisfying anymore. I needed to know you if I wasn’t going to adopt. And so, He finally showed me the truth. He’d have opened the doors to let me have you if you’d been born, but now, I just await seeing you in Heaven. I’m anxious to get to know all about you. And, I just know it’s going to be so much fun. In the meantime, I will obey Jesus’ command to occupy till He comes, and be about His business of sharing His love, forgiveness, and salvation with a lost and dying world.
Till we meet, I’m so glad to know you are safe on God’s celestial shore.
Love, Daddy.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Talking of helping someone - similar reaction either way
Sweetheart,
I had to remind myself to do it for the Lord, not for you, but ou'd have enjoyed tonight. I was able to help a young person by listening to their problems - just as I hoped you'd do. I figured I'd have taught you to be a kind, considerate, loving Christian who showed a great example of who Christ is.
Instead, you're celebrating in Glory, and I did avoid doing what I would have done had you lived, too. See, I'd have put a lot of focus on being a Christian example for you, instead of for Jesus.So, it was actually quite similar. Yes, we need to show a great example of Jesus Christ in our thoughts as well as our actions. But, true JOY comes from putting it in this order- Jesus, Others, Yourself.
So, I listened to the Spirit's leading for Him. But, I thought of you, too. Except instead of saying, I hope you learn from mye xample," it was, "I hope she's proud of me."
lol, there's another thing - I just have this hunch you're a girl because I'd be better with someone who isn't prone to stages of being realy physical, and boys have more of that problem than girls. Girls are more willing to express themselves verbally and that's impor5tant since I can't read nonverbal cues as well.
Oh, well, I'm sorry, I'm rambling here. But, while I know you're looking down from Heaven and saw it, I wanted to post a little bit to you, but also show how it's reallyi rather similar to how it would have been had you been born. So, you can see that I am at the acceptance stage of the grieving process.God knows what's best. And, if I'm not to have a child except for you, I eagerly away that day we meet.
Love, Daddy
I had to remind myself to do it for the Lord, not for you, but ou'd have enjoyed tonight. I was able to help a young person by listening to their problems - just as I hoped you'd do. I figured I'd have taught you to be a kind, considerate, loving Christian who showed a great example of who Christ is.
Instead, you're celebrating in Glory, and I did avoid doing what I would have done had you lived, too. See, I'd have put a lot of focus on being a Christian example for you, instead of for Jesus.So, it was actually quite similar. Yes, we need to show a great example of Jesus Christ in our thoughts as well as our actions. But, true JOY comes from putting it in this order- Jesus, Others, Yourself.
So, I listened to the Spirit's leading for Him. But, I thought of you, too. Except instead of saying, I hope you learn from mye xample," it was, "I hope she's proud of me."
lol, there's another thing - I just have this hunch you're a girl because I'd be better with someone who isn't prone to stages of being realy physical, and boys have more of that problem than girls. Girls are more willing to express themselves verbally and that's impor5tant since I can't read nonverbal cues as well.
Oh, well, I'm sorry, I'm rambling here. But, while I know you're looking down from Heaven and saw it, I wanted to post a little bit to you, but also show how it's reallyi rather similar to how it would have been had you been born. So, you can see that I am at the acceptance stage of the grieving process.God knows what's best. And, if I'm not to have a child except for you, I eagerly away that day we meet.
Love, Daddy
Thanks to Jesus' love, your silly Daddy is writing to you
Hi, Sweetheart,
I know what you'd probably say if we could talk. "Silly Daddy, why are you writing this?"
You know the story. I'm a man with multiple handicaps but a love for children. Money was always an obstacle to adoption but I always wanted to. And, after I begged the Lord in prayer, feeling I missed you so much, He said, "Okay," and I went forward and claimed His promise. I began to look into it, how to do it...
Things seemed to be progressing, but then suddenly the Lord showed me in prayer I should simply dedicate you as Hannah dedicated Samuel. That Jesus would take care of you. And that you were going to be born, but something happened. Perhaps you were aborted - that's the most likely thing.
If so, you should know I forgive your birth mother the same as I'd have forgiven you no matter what you did. Even crashing the car into the kitchen like that "Full House" episode I used as an illustration to explain the Gospel a few times.
So, God has given me peace that you are in Heaven now. Yes, it's rather strange that your silly Daddy is writing to you. You probably think a lot of what we do on Earth is silly, up there in Heaven where you'll never feel pain or suffer or have heartache. I'll never have to worry about you being bullied and what would happen if I couldn't stop it. I'll never have to worry about your relationships or have to console you as you cry on my shoulder because of some silly tiff you may have had with a friend. I'll never have to fret over the lack of spontaneity compared to when I was a child, or how I might be able to home school you but would I have the freedom here in the U.S. the way things are going? And, most importantly, would you trust Jesus Christ as your Saviour at an early age so you can have that great relationship with Jesus I do?
No, I'll never have those worries; as David said of his deceased son, you won't come to me but I will go to you. But, I'll never have the joys, either, of seeing your many triumphs, sharing with you all the Lord has shown me. Rejoicing as you learn new things and see how amazing the world is, how fileld with color and tastes and textures - yes, I know those thigns are so much more vibrant in Heaven, but there is something special about learning, about finding out new things, about exploring, about just being with others and helping others and giving of yourself.
So, that's what this blog will be about. The rare times I write, when I feel like I need to, it'll be about that, and how awesome it would have been with you.
I know, you'll say, "Silly Daddy, it's even better here!" I know. But, one of those heartaches you'll never have to know is being away from a loved one like I am you (and others of course, but I long to see you more than anyone except for my Saviour Jesus Christ.) Yet I am like a soldier in World War Two, though here my mission is sharing Christ's love and bringing people to the Lord. And, like WW2 soldiers, I'm here for the duration, till the Lord calls me home. Only then, when He says, will I be able to hear your voice, meet you for the first time, cuddle you and celebrate with you. Only then will I hear "Daddy's home" from you, as I am caught up in the sky with all the others as 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 and the end of 1 Corinthians describe. Either with the deceased saints who are dead in Christ and rise first or with we who remain and are caught up together in the clouds to meet Him in the air.
Till then? I'm so glad you have the best sitter you could have, in Jesus Christ. And, I will keep going here so God can get all the glory. And if I don't write in this for a while, it's not that I don't think of you. It's just that the Lord has me so busy with other things or I don't have any time. But, I love you and will always love you with all my heart. And, maybe this will help someone else who is struggling, I don't know. All I know is the Lord knew what was best. Maybe I'll adopt someday after all, but till I would multiply my love to take in a living child, please know that I love you and we'd have had great times here despite the troubles. And someday, we will have great fun in Heaven celebrating together forever, because the shed blood of Jesus Christ has washed our sins away. You because you died way before the age of accountability, me because I trusted Jesus Christ by faith to forgive me of my sins, and I call on Him to forgive me and save me.
So, till we meet, have a great time up there. I love you.(Blows kiss, imagines one blown back to him.)
Love, Daddy
I know what you'd probably say if we could talk. "Silly Daddy, why are you writing this?"
You know the story. I'm a man with multiple handicaps but a love for children. Money was always an obstacle to adoption but I always wanted to. And, after I begged the Lord in prayer, feeling I missed you so much, He said, "Okay," and I went forward and claimed His promise. I began to look into it, how to do it...
Things seemed to be progressing, but then suddenly the Lord showed me in prayer I should simply dedicate you as Hannah dedicated Samuel. That Jesus would take care of you. And that you were going to be born, but something happened. Perhaps you were aborted - that's the most likely thing.
If so, you should know I forgive your birth mother the same as I'd have forgiven you no matter what you did. Even crashing the car into the kitchen like that "Full House" episode I used as an illustration to explain the Gospel a few times.
So, God has given me peace that you are in Heaven now. Yes, it's rather strange that your silly Daddy is writing to you. You probably think a lot of what we do on Earth is silly, up there in Heaven where you'll never feel pain or suffer or have heartache. I'll never have to worry about you being bullied and what would happen if I couldn't stop it. I'll never have to worry about your relationships or have to console you as you cry on my shoulder because of some silly tiff you may have had with a friend. I'll never have to fret over the lack of spontaneity compared to when I was a child, or how I might be able to home school you but would I have the freedom here in the U.S. the way things are going? And, most importantly, would you trust Jesus Christ as your Saviour at an early age so you can have that great relationship with Jesus I do?
No, I'll never have those worries; as David said of his deceased son, you won't come to me but I will go to you. But, I'll never have the joys, either, of seeing your many triumphs, sharing with you all the Lord has shown me. Rejoicing as you learn new things and see how amazing the world is, how fileld with color and tastes and textures - yes, I know those thigns are so much more vibrant in Heaven, but there is something special about learning, about finding out new things, about exploring, about just being with others and helping others and giving of yourself.
So, that's what this blog will be about. The rare times I write, when I feel like I need to, it'll be about that, and how awesome it would have been with you.
I know, you'll say, "Silly Daddy, it's even better here!" I know. But, one of those heartaches you'll never have to know is being away from a loved one like I am you (and others of course, but I long to see you more than anyone except for my Saviour Jesus Christ.) Yet I am like a soldier in World War Two, though here my mission is sharing Christ's love and bringing people to the Lord. And, like WW2 soldiers, I'm here for the duration, till the Lord calls me home. Only then, when He says, will I be able to hear your voice, meet you for the first time, cuddle you and celebrate with you. Only then will I hear "Daddy's home" from you, as I am caught up in the sky with all the others as 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 and the end of 1 Corinthians describe. Either with the deceased saints who are dead in Christ and rise first or with we who remain and are caught up together in the clouds to meet Him in the air.
Till then? I'm so glad you have the best sitter you could have, in Jesus Christ. And, I will keep going here so God can get all the glory. And if I don't write in this for a while, it's not that I don't think of you. It's just that the Lord has me so busy with other things or I don't have any time. But, I love you and will always love you with all my heart. And, maybe this will help someone else who is struggling, I don't know. All I know is the Lord knew what was best. Maybe I'll adopt someday after all, but till I would multiply my love to take in a living child, please know that I love you and we'd have had great times here despite the troubles. And someday, we will have great fun in Heaven celebrating together forever, because the shed blood of Jesus Christ has washed our sins away. You because you died way before the age of accountability, me because I trusted Jesus Christ by faith to forgive me of my sins, and I call on Him to forgive me and save me.
So, till we meet, have a great time up there. I love you.(Blows kiss, imagines one blown back to him.)
Love, Daddy
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