Missing only for a time

Sweetheart, 

Yes, I'm writing again a little sooner than last time. I was taking a number of more wintery items upstairs and thinking about the smaller amount of space in this house.

Oh, its not that bad, you would have had a wonderful attic bedroom in a bungelow (how do you spell that?) since I have an office in the 2nd bedroom downstairs, and you'd have plenty of room for a bed(there anyway), a couch/chairs, and room for toys and such. It might have been a little cramped when it comes to clothing, but you'd have had enough space for a small dresser and things like that, and as you grew and put things in the closet where kids' books and those stuffed animals I mentioned are now I'd have some of my clothes in there still, and we'd have had lots of fun laughing about how you were going to trick me into taking some of your clothes downstairs for myself whenever I went to exchange winter and summer stuff. We'd have had so much fun laughing together and enjoying life, that the difficult times wouldn't have been so bad because we'd have been family. And indeed, I feel like that now, even separated by a dimension - me being in the physical and you in the spiritual realm.

I couldn't give you a mommy either. In some ways maybe that is one thing which held me back, kept me from stepping out in faith to look into adopting earlier. But, I know my mom would have been there for you, and you'd have found wonderful friends whose mothers could be your surrogate mother (I know a few who consider their friends' moms as second mothers even if they have good moms, they call them doptive mothers because they adopted the mother :-)). Plus, of course, I have the love and compassion and sweetness where I go overboard with it in fact. You'd have had wonderful people at church to help also. I know we could have made it work. 

I'm sure, at times, we'd talk about how you wish you could have a mommy; who knows, maybe you would have tried to set me up with people and one might have worked out. Just like if things had gone differently one of those I liked at church might have worked out, but each of them was too busy with studies and work at that point when i was looking 15-20 years ago.

God had other plans though, and we'd have talked about how things are very special anyway. Just like you might have thought about how it would be great if we had a much bigger house, but we talked about how it was special anyway, with the lumpy backyard and funny things like that. And, how we'd have Heavenly mansions to look forward to once you trusted Christ as your Savior just as I had trusted Him as mine. Indeed, in a way, this is sort of sharing those discussions just as I posted earlier about what it might have been like in other ways, who you would most be like, etc..

Of course, now you are celebrating in yours ahead of time. I think of asking what it's like and how that actually works for those who weren't born, and I get that cute image of you saying "It's a surprise, Daddy." And, I'm excited and anxiously awaiting the big surprise.

Because, I know Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the dead, & I have called on Him and put my trust in Him to save me and get me to Heaven by simple faith, and not because of anything I have done. And, that is just the way you are there too. It's all because of Jesus for those who die before the age of accountability..

So, I know while things didn't work out here, we will have forever together someday. That is the important part. It is what I'd have emphasized down here when we talked about you not having the mommy you might have wanted or a bigger house. And, yeah that's what I focus on now, knowing that this momentary absence will be nothing compared to the glory of seeing our Lord Jesus Christ and celebrating forever in Heaven.

Until that time, I know you are in the best hands possible, those of our Lord.

So, till we meet, those things I lack are just reminders that someday, because of Jesus, everything will be made right for those who trust Him, as his Word says we shall rule and reign with him.

Till we meet,

Love,
Daddy.