Sweetheart,
Was that you knocking some snow off the roof?
It ws so neat. I was waiting for the dog to come in from out back so I could go watch the Packer game with some friends, and with my photographic memory, something clicked and made me think of one of those little things I'd daydream about, you stubbornly wanting to march off into the snow without a coat on, then me kneeling down with open arms waiting for you to come running back in, gently whispering about how I let you do that so you'd learn and listen when I told you "no" on bigger things.
And just then, some snow fell off jsut one little bit of the awning - right in the middle. It hadn't been disturbed by anything, and no other snow fell. It's like an angel - or maybe you :-) - did just enough to remind me,you were up there waiting, that while I may not know you here on Earth, God has answered my prayer and i now have a little one - maybe a big one, I don't know and i know you'll say "It's a surprise" - waiting for me when my time here is done.
I see so many problems and I can understand why He knew best about giving me a child who never made it to my arms. Just like that image I had of letting you march out into the snow a few feet like I know little kids will do at times. God knows what's best, and He knows this is a fallen world, heading for disaster with all the sin in it. ANd, couple that with how it's hard for me to read others' intentions sometimes, while I know you'd have grown into a wonderful, loving young person who would help me, and I have a great family and freinds, maybe it was jsut a bit too hard for me.
Or, more likely, God had you all ready for me to take home and to love and sahre His grace and mercy with, and He simply chose not to intervene in the affairs of man because He doesn't want us to be mindless robots and He doesn't want to defy physics all the time.
this fallen world is filled with sin, but Go didn't make it that way. He made it perfect, without sin, but gave us free will, nd we chose to turn from Him. We all say, think, and do things which displease God, and that sin is what seperates us from His perfect heaven, where there is no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin, no death. That wonderful place where you are.
And, each of us here on earth is only a single, sincere prayer of repentence away from eternal life. that prayer to Jesus is as easy as ABC - Admit you're a sinner and fall short of God's perfection, Believe Jesus Christ, God in flesh, died to take your punishment and rose from the dead, and Choose to Call on Jesus; Call on Him to save you from your sins, to forgive yu and come into your heart and make you new inside.
I have had the joy of leading people to Christ. Maybe someone reading this blog will pray that sinner's prayer, in their own words trusting Jesus Christ by faith to save them. I pray that they do.
The beauty is that kids below the age of accountability go to heaven anyway, because it is not by works but by grace we are saved; it is all becasue of His blood that was shed for us.
So, while I never got to share that love with you here on earth, I know God has you up therre with so much joy and fun and laughter and celebration, just as we'll celebrate one day.
And, I know that you love me, too. And, somehow, a small remidner came to me today. it was one of those times that the timing was so perfect it had to be God at work.
But, I always know you're there. It just helped me to remember that and focus ont he task at hand, reaching others with that wonderful Gospel message. Becaue I know my Redeemer lives. And, one say I shall see Him face to face. And see you.
I don't know if we'll have snow or anything up there - I'm not sure if we'll have weather, period. but, I know we'll have loads of fun. And, I can still hear, as easily as if you're sitting in my lap before bedtime, you saying, "Shhh, it's a surprise, Daddy." because that's how a photographic memory works.
I can't wait for that surprise King Jesus has waiting. And, I'm so glad you can be a part of it. If I don't post any more, you'll know I still care. But, if i do think about it, who knows. Maybe there'll be another little reminder; or maybe that will remain with me now as one. Helping me know you are up there waiting and I don't have to worry about awaiting one down here, though if the Lord opens the door I will adopt. But, i have a precious angel - actually, tehnicappy a precious little saint :-) - waiting to welcome me home.
Till we meet.
Love, Daddy.
