What would you have been like - eating and other sometimes battles

To my Sweetheart,
I may have people reading this who lost a child, so I saw something today that made me want to post again.

It was my cousin's little girl, almost 2, enjoying a salad being fed to her and feeding herself - with her hands.

I wouldn't have felt comfortable posting you on FB - I don't even have my own picture on there! But, it made me wonder, would you have been a good eater like her and her older cousin? Sure, some kids would rather play and have to be convinced to eat something so they can then have dessert, but I mean in general? It's kind of hard to know since where you are now, you have tastes that range far and wide in your resurrection body. Indeed, it's possible everything tastes like your favorite and you never tire of it. Us silly humans on Earth have such amazing ideas of what Heaven is like.

I've imagined, over the years, how it would be trying to get you to eat, and since I usually ate well - even if it was always spaghetti for a time and my mom had to blend vegetables into the sauce, I still wanted to eat when it was time - I don't usually imagine much problem. I just envision myself getting a shocked look like my mom would if I tried something new.

I've practiced other things, too, over the years - I was doing such practice 20 years ago, in fact. Back then, I knew my handicaps would cause trouble, but I thought I could do it and planned to adopt a lot. But, that wasn't God's plan, I've never had the money. Still, the door was open for a second, till it somehow shut with no warning.

I have had little pleasures - holding a newborn baby, leading a child to Christ, teaching a cousin to tell time on a sleepover, reading to one (and getting so confused I tried to tell the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Pigs - hey, I was into "Peanuts" and such, not nursery stuff. I read a fair deal when I was 3.) I have had so many real adventures, even disciplined a few times with my cousins and one niece. I always have loved to hug and be tender and caring. I'd have been a good dad, and still could, I guess. But, your life ended before it began, before I could adopt you.

I've had fun doing all those little things, and in my imagination I've done so much more. That "Full House" Chronology I'm sure you'd have helped with. That time for a long while I would sporadically pretend I had kids and imagine myself with you at different ages. Yes, it's wasn't just the "Full House" kids, TV and Book universe, I helped to grow. (You could see it, to those who read this, at www-full-house.org under "FullHouse".) I actually imagined and pretended you went off to college, and my imagination's so good I cried when I left you that day. :-) That was one say to let go, pretending you were gone and now married, off somewhere as a missionary. But, this helps too.

Sorry, that ramble was worthy of Danny Tanner. Anyway, I’ve had fun and been able to do things, real and imagined, which help me, but this has been important because as I told the Lord, the imaginary world wasn’t satisfying anymore. I needed to know you if I wasn’t going to adopt. And so, He finally showed me the truth. He’d have opened the doors to let me have you if you’d been born, but now, I just await seeing you in Heaven. I’m anxious to get to know all about you. And, I just know it’s going to be so much fun. In the meantime, I will obey Jesus’ command to occupy till He comes, and be about His business of sharing His love, forgiveness, and salvation with a lost and dying world.

Till we meet, I’m so glad to know you are safe on God’s celestial shore.

Love, Daddy.