The nice thing about being in Heaven is, I'm sure you've met so many great friends you know will last forever. I remember on church visitation 10-12 years ago there were some young teen girls out riding their bikes and one of them whom we were visiting had just gotten saved, but one of the two friends hadn't. We led her to Christ & my visitation partner said, "Now you'll really be friends forever."
It's harder here on earth. As I've said, I have a bit of Asperger's, or at least PDD-NOS, and I go from not being able to read between lines to getting so worried because some things I read are just like what happens with kids who are adopted out of very rough homes. I'm sorry to say I don't know how much help I could have given as you navigated that friendship stuff.
Okay, I'm being too hard on myself. We'd have talked and I'd have discussed how we're supposed to be nice, loving, caring, etc. all the time. One friend who talked about some mean stuff becuase of what his cousins went through scared me at times, because he didn't talk about gentleness, self-control, etc., and even seemed to mock me for doing so. That kind of stuff, I couldn't have helped you with.
Or, maybe I would have. He's a wonderful, Godly man now and improved so much in his 20s. It's a testimony to how God works. I'm sure he was so traumatized by just seeing what his cousisn went through. But, I didn't know how to read between the lines back then to know that's why he talked like he did, and also didn't know how to ask.
Then there was another one who was really nice, came from a really good family, yet changed when he went to college. And, not right away, either - if he had that might have made sense, though he wasn't the kind to fall for peer pressure. I totally bungled that, I was so clumsy. Now, i think something traumatized him that my mom said not to mention to him so I didn't. But, I would have told you it's soemtimes good to get people to talk about their feelings, but I would hope you could read those nonverbal things better.
BUt, your Daddy isn't that bad. By the time I'd have adopted you, I got to wear I could tell people easily I was having trouble reading nonverbal cues or that I needed to have thigns explained to me a bit more. I would say how I'd say things like, "I'm guessing that this attitude is because of 'x' or maybe 'y?'" Things like that. You'd have possibly heard me saying, "Hearing that is kind of traumatic because of what I'm picturing," since I have a very photographic thought process.
Of course, I imagine you'd have had no handicap like that, but I think you'd easily learn not to take advantage of such things because you'd see it just like my visual and hearing handicaps. I have special needs, and one of those needs is friends who just stay away from a couple things, like really raunchy stuff, lots of really bad cursing, etc. - such stuff scares me and reminds me of some trauma from Junior High that I need to be away from so I don't have flashbacks.
But - and this is something I would have been able to teach you easily - true friends are the ones who love and care for others and accept when something is traumatizing someone and they don't do it. It's just like I tried to do for these 2 friends I mentioned. I did it very clumsily, then went way overboard trying to help, but that's just my somewhat awkward social skills as I try to make up for that handicap.
I heard of a woman in our church - you may have met her by now :-) - who was an alcoholic. She got saved out of that and God wonderfully changed her and she never drank again the last 44 years of her life. However, she struggled, unlike her friends. She never again went into a restaurant with a bar in it, because she knew she could be tempted to start drinking again. Her friends loved her - they never went to one either if they were together, but when by themselves of coruse they could. They just cared for this woman. But, they also obeyed God's command in 1 Corinthians 8 where it says don't tempt a weaker brother or sister in Christ. But, they'd have been kind and considerate like that no matter what.
I have many friends like that when it comes to the little things that can torment me. They stay away from it - but really, they're not vulgar or raunchy ever, not just around me.
That's the kind of loving friend I know you'd have become down here on Earth. I know I'd have been so proud of you. That's one of those little thigns I don't get to enjoy, but my family members and their kids are like that. I can be proud of them. But, ultimately, I praise God for such love. And, I'm glad you experience that love up there in Heaven.
Till we meet.
Love,
Daddy
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