A simple "hello"

Hi Sweetheart.

Recently, I closed out one of those fun pretend threads on an alternate history site where 1983 in the USA was sent back to 1783. I adopted a girl there, and had fun imagining her up to this point when she graduated, which I thought high school graduation would be a perfect place to close my participation in it. Others had lost interest for a while, but it was a joy to do this.

Of course, you'll forgive me if you are a boy, although for some reason I do sometimes picture you as a girl, though that is probably because of this roleplay thread. Or, maybe the Lord is giving me one little snippet of information about you. Of course, I know that you would giggle and whisper "It's a surprise, Daddy."

The thread, in the alien space bats section of alternatehistory.Com, was started by someone else, but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Of course, there will be other things where I will imagine you there, little pieces of what life would have been like with you. And each time, I am reminded that you are experiencing so much joy up there in Heaven. It would have been a joy to know you, but it will be a joy to know you one day and that is what is important. In the meantime, whatever next adventure awaits, I know you are watching and I enjoy trying to make you proud. of course, I especially want to serve the Lord in what I do. But, you are just more and more little way in which Jesus gives me peace despite the difficulties of this world. And, I hope that others realize the same special thing I do, the joy of a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Each of us must simply repent of their sins and trust Jesus Christ by faith to forgive them. It's as easy as admitting 1 is a sinner and cannot reach heaven themselves, believing that Jesus Christ God in flesh died to take the punishment for their sins and rose from the dead, and call on Jesus by faith to forgive them and turn away from their sins and their heart and invite Jesus to come live in them through the Holy Spirit. It is a personal choice, a heart and mind decision. 

And, when they do, God will hear them and help them through anything. As long as they trust Him to do so. 

This has been an unusual blog as well. I don't know how many other times I will post here, but something may come to me just as has it other times after a lull. But one thing I am certain about, I believe God has used this to help others as well. So, I am thankful that while I won't know you in this life, I can know you and we can enjoy forever together. That forever is so wonderful. Because it will be forever with God Himself in his perfect Heaven, where there will be no pain, no suffering, no tears, and where we can't even fathom the wonders that await us.

That is so much more amazing than we can fathom. More amazing than any fictional story.

Till we meet,

Love, Daddy

Little reminders that God is watching over us

Hi, Sweetheart,

Yes, it's your silly Daddy again. I just had a wonderful experience sharing a Bible study with a man who is, well, a little challenged. He wouldn't mind me saying what I have told him, that he views the Bible the way its child would, with awestruck wonder at God's creation. He sees the simple things in life so well, and his questions to me when he calls with Bible questions are somewhat simple but in some ways so profound.

Why am i sharing? It just made me think of how we might be studying the Bible, had you been born. You'd have so many fun questions for me, maybe at times simpler than his, but it would just be so much fun. And, as you grew, you would gain more understanding and start asking questions about things like the Godhead, which i tried to explain but couldn't because I'm just a mere person. (Though showing him Colossians 2:9 and a few verses after helped.).I'm sure you'd rely on the Holy Spirit as well as me to understand the King James Bible - the one fr5om the original Antiochan texts - so well. (It's actually got fewer archaic words and simpler language than other versions like the NIV. Yeah, I'm being silly, you know that, huh?)

Thankfully, I would be able to share my faith with you, and help you to understand God's love. You would be seeing it in how I treat you, as well. So, hopefully you would have come to know Jesus Christ as your Saviour by calling on Him to save you from your sins at an early age, and you would enjoy that personal relationship with Him. Indeed, hopefully you would be reading the Bible like this man does, always excited at looking at the relationships and just exploring in your mind what it was like to be alive back then, to be each of the figures in each story. 

That's where I say, he looks at it like I imagine you doing so. With that awestruck sense of wonder at the love of God, and trying to imagine what it was like to see Jesus face to face. You would ask, as he did, things like how could they reject Jesus after seeing the miracles that He did and after looking in God's Word at the Old Testament and what was prophesied. And, we would have fun talking about who we'll see up in Heaven.

Of course, you are up there now, and you probably have perfect understanding of all of those situations like my friend asks about, some of which even I am mystified by a little. We all have so much to learn about God's Word, and we can see so much new  each time we read. Of course, you know Jesus personally up there.

In fact it's funny. As I was helping my friend understand a few things about the passage he had questions about, the Holy Spirit ministered to me and I sensed the Lord reminding me that, yes, you are up in Heaven, but Jesus gives me little things like that or hints of what it would have been like, to help me to know that He, Jesus Christ, my personal Savior, is helping me through everything, and that I'm still getting a taste of those joys in anticipation of what will come when we do meet, because I've trusted in Him.

There have been other times, some things I've mentioned here, some I haven't, that I know the Lord is guiding me and helping me to see that even if I can't be with you here on earth, I can have those special little opportunities. And, I can trust Him, because I have put my trust in Him by calling on Jesus Christ to forgive me and save me from my sins, through His death ont he cross and His bodily resurrection. I know I can trust Him to get me to Heaven, and to watch over you till I get there.

Till the glorious day when we meet,

Love,
Daddy

Missing only for a time

Sweetheart, 

Yes, I'm writing again a little sooner than last time. I was taking a number of more wintery items upstairs and thinking about the smaller amount of space in this house.

Oh, its not that bad, you would have had a wonderful attic bedroom in a bungelow (how do you spell that?) since I have an office in the 2nd bedroom downstairs, and you'd have plenty of room for a bed(there anyway), a couch/chairs, and room for toys and such. It might have been a little cramped when it comes to clothing, but you'd have had enough space for a small dresser and things like that, and as you grew and put things in the closet where kids' books and those stuffed animals I mentioned are now I'd have some of my clothes in there still, and we'd have had lots of fun laughing about how you were going to trick me into taking some of your clothes downstairs for myself whenever I went to exchange winter and summer stuff. We'd have had so much fun laughing together and enjoying life, that the difficult times wouldn't have been so bad because we'd have been family. And indeed, I feel like that now, even separated by a dimension - me being in the physical and you in the spiritual realm.

I couldn't give you a mommy either. In some ways maybe that is one thing which held me back, kept me from stepping out in faith to look into adopting earlier. But, I know my mom would have been there for you, and you'd have found wonderful friends whose mothers could be your surrogate mother (I know a few who consider their friends' moms as second mothers even if they have good moms, they call them doptive mothers because they adopted the mother :-)). Plus, of course, I have the love and compassion and sweetness where I go overboard with it in fact. You'd have had wonderful people at church to help also. I know we could have made it work. 

I'm sure, at times, we'd talk about how you wish you could have a mommy; who knows, maybe you would have tried to set me up with people and one might have worked out. Just like if things had gone differently one of those I liked at church might have worked out, but each of them was too busy with studies and work at that point when i was looking 15-20 years ago.

God had other plans though, and we'd have talked about how things are very special anyway. Just like you might have thought about how it would be great if we had a much bigger house, but we talked about how it was special anyway, with the lumpy backyard and funny things like that. And, how we'd have Heavenly mansions to look forward to once you trusted Christ as your Savior just as I had trusted Him as mine. Indeed, in a way, this is sort of sharing those discussions just as I posted earlier about what it might have been like in other ways, who you would most be like, etc..

Of course, now you are celebrating in yours ahead of time. I think of asking what it's like and how that actually works for those who weren't born, and I get that cute image of you saying "It's a surprise, Daddy." And, I'm excited and anxiously awaiting the big surprise.

Because, I know Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose from the dead, & I have called on Him and put my trust in Him to save me and get me to Heaven by simple faith, and not because of anything I have done. And, that is just the way you are there too. It's all because of Jesus for those who die before the age of accountability..

So, I know while things didn't work out here, we will have forever together someday. That is the important part. It is what I'd have emphasized down here when we talked about you not having the mommy you might have wanted or a bigger house. And, yeah that's what I focus on now, knowing that this momentary absence will be nothing compared to the glory of seeing our Lord Jesus Christ and celebrating forever in Heaven.

Until that time, I know you are in the best hands possible, those of our Lord.

So, till we meet, those things I lack are just reminders that someday, because of Jesus, everything will be made right for those who trust Him, as his Word says we shall rule and reign with him.

Till we meet,

Love,
Daddy.

Ice Cream - in This Weather? (Ramblings from Febrary to now)

Hi, Sweetheart,

Sweetheart,

I had this as a draft but didn't post it, it was just one or two little comments but I decided to add it as well as my other post. It's from February, when the weather was a lot worse here. But, I just discovered it again.

So, I'm adding it to what I had written about a vacation, because it made sense to just combine the two. And, it shows how great it is I don't need to be adding to this blog all the time, or even much at all.

One of those silly things we adults do, my mom felt like getting some ice ream at the store the other day to have with a pie she was making, so I got a few scoops from my parents along with a piece of pie for dessert.

Ice cream when the high barely got above zero seems quite silly, but it made me smile with joy as I imagined doing that with you; after all, kids aren't so set in their ways that they realize how silly it is to have ice cream in zero degree weather.

Or, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's just odd to me.

Either way, kids bring such joy to life, and the great thing is the Lord has given me so many little joy, some of which came to my mind as I went on vacation recently. It's so fun to joke about those things for my Heavenly mansion. I continue to just imagine you saying with anticipation, "It's a surprise, Daddy" to the point I don't ponder whether I'll have a swimming pool or whethere there will be beaches (though I'd think givent he many different nations and peoples a variety of mansion types will be there). I just know Jesus has something wonderful.  Just like when I went forward to step out of the boat and trust that Lord to help me adopt you. And, though it turned out, from the way God has directed my prayers, you didn't end up being born,  I know you are one of those great surprises Jesus has for me.

In the meantime, so many fun things come. My family, like me, loves to see joy in all those little things. Just like I know you would. There are many times I somehow know He's showing me that same type of joy can still occur. For instance, the excitement that my mom gets showing me things on her cellphone, or pictures she's taken. I just know you would be the same way, so thrilled to show me the picture of a bird - though maybe not with fish in its claws, but who knows - or of something else you may have done. Whether in dance or baseball or some other sports, it wouldn't matter if you weren't the best, as long as you had fun. Facebook provides me with joys like seeing friends whose kids do things like coloring eggs for Easter and things like that, and just the joy of seeing others enjoy themselves is enough.

And of course the knowledge that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead and thinking of the thrill when you would have invited Jesus into your life and heart as your personal Savior. Now, I don't need to worry about when that would happen because I know you are there, in Heaven, because Jesus Christ died for you before you could understand that need each of us has to receive Him by simple faith, calling on him to forgive you and save you from the penalty for your sins, a penalty He took upon Himself when He died and then rose again the third day..

I have that huge stuffed animal collection as well, and while I don't get to see you amazed at it I have seen cousins and nieces and nephews be so amazed at seeing it for the first time. And I know you're up there amazed seeing it from there too, and I won't ask anything else in that area because I know your answer: "I can't tell you; it's a surprise Daddy."

I can't wait for that great big surprise. I know it's Jesus preparing my Heavenly mansion, but in a small way it's sort of fun to imagine you have any tiny part, just like when a parent will help that child get a Mother's or Father's Day gift for their spouse. A 3 year old, for instance, can't do much more than point to a color they might like, but its still fun and special. It's  the thought that counts, and I believe that you think of me in some small way even as you spend most of your time playing up there, and finding even more things to be amazed by than i could ever imagine here on earth, I'm sure.

I haven't needed to write a lot - and didn't even at first, though it helped. But, it's still nice to note times like this and look forward while also being thankful for what the Lord has done. I don't know what all you follow down here, but I know you understand I can't wait to get there and give you a great big hug. because Jesus is the reason I will be there, the reason any of us have life, but that special treasure I prayed for I know is up in Heaven waiting for me. I just thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for giving you to me. And I am grateful to Him for forgiving me so you and I can enjoy is perfect Heaven together someday.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy.

On little disappointments like the Super Bowl

Hi, Sweetheart.

I just got a bunch of pictures put in albums while watching only little bits of the Super Bowl, though this won't get posted till I sent it from my phone to my e-mail and then paste it in here the next day  I really didn't care for this game since the Packers lost, but if the Seahawks had won at least I could have said they were a team of destiny. Yet the game I planned to watch,  Len Barker's perfect game,  I'd never seen and I couldn't pull myself away to just listen and glance up from time to time to watch;  it was too interesting. Ironic since I knew the outcome. (PS: I have it on now. :-) )

But, I got that done and got to bed early now so I can get up bright and early and maybe shovel snow or whatever comes with our confused weather. 

I won't ask about sports in Heaven,  I know you'd just say it's a surprise.  But, it made me think of all those little disappointments you don't have to go through up there.  Teams losing you so wanted to win, times rain ruined plans, and so on. I've said I'm glad you didn't have to see how evil this world is, much worse than when I grew up, but when the only part of something one calls "evil" is the innocent fun of a dynasty that keeps winning,  that's where you can learn to rely on the fact God is still in control and many other good things can happen. Yet, you can learn that in a safe way without having to suffer, when you follow sports. Sure, it's a disappointment the Packers didn't make it, but that's okay.

I so wanted to be your Daddy  down here and help you through all that . I prayed hard, as I've said, but you are there instead, and I know we'll meet someday. It's one of those sadder parts of life, much more than a game. But, sports can help prepare us for the worse things, and yet help us remember there will be another game,  another season. Maybe with different players but with the chance again to see success. For some, it's realizing it could be worse. It's possible someone reading this didn't just have what I did - a heartfelt desire to adopt and end up led by the Lord to dedicate that little to serving like Hannah did Samuel, leaving him to be raised in the temple, showing me that your life ended before I had the chance to adopt you. It's possible a reader has lost a child they knew or had a miscarriage.  I can't imagine that kind of pain, and hope they know you and their little one are probably good friends up there, laughing and playing together so happily. 

Anyway, as I was saying, some just look at the bright side, others remind themselves it could be worse. Some focus instead in what baseballists 150 years ago called the "patience of hope," that good will come next time, even if that takes a while to come. Any of these make it easy for me to keep going till that day God says it's over and you ride with the angels to come take me home to see my Saviour and yours, Jesus Christ.

It's His if s death on the cross and rising from the dead that makes it possible. When one calls on Jesus to forgive them and save them from their sins,  He comes into that heart He's been invited into and gives the peace that passes understanding,  perfect love, comfort,  joy, so much more, when we trust Him to. I pray others who read this share about Him readily,  or at least visit one of the sties where I volunteer like  Godlife.com or Jesus2020.com where they can learn more and communicate with someone via secure email. 

And, I trust that while you don't worry or have disappointment in Heaven, you understand what I'm saying,  at least. Life can be hard on this world at times, mostly due to those big problems and not the little ones like a lost game. Some of those little problems - constant rising in property taxes and other things, thigns wearing out like I've had, etc. - can seem big if we take our minds off God and His care for us. However, God is good all the time, and will help us through anything when we trust Him.

He's the Creator of the universe, after all. And, it's so exciting to know that if you couldn't be born for me to adopt, at least you have the best seat possible to watch us go through evrrythung, and I'm sure laugh at some of the things we do, like.focus so much on sports instead of just having fun with them.

Till we meet,
Love, Daddy

thanks fro the snow - little reminders

Sweetheart,

Was that you knocking some snow off the roof?

It ws so neat. I was waiting for the dog to come in from out back so I could go watch the Packer game with some friends, and with my photographic memory, something clicked and made me think of one of those little things I'd daydream about, you stubbornly wanting to march off into the snow without a coat on, then me kneeling down with open arms waiting for you to come running back in, gently whispering about how I let you do that so you'd learn and listen when I told you "no" on bigger things.

And just then, some snow fell off jsut one little bit of the awning - right in the middle. It hadn't been disturbed by anything, and no other snow fell. It's like an angel - or maybe you :-) - did just enough to remind me,you were up there waiting, that while I may not know you here on Earth, God has answered my prayer and i now have a little one - maybe a big one, I don't know and i know you'll say "It's a surprise" - waiting for me when my time here is done.

I see so many problems and I can understand why He knew best about giving me a child who never made it to my arms. Just like that image I had of letting you march out into the snow a few feet like I know little kids will do at times. God knows what's best, and He knows this is a fallen world, heading for disaster with all the sin in it. ANd, couple that with how it's hard for me to read others' intentions sometimes, while I know you'd have grown into a wonderful, loving young person who would help me, and I have a great family and freinds, maybe it was jsut a bit too hard for me.

Or, more likely, God had you all ready for me to take home and to love and sahre His grace and mercy with, and He simply chose not to intervene in the affairs of man because He doesn't want us to be mindless robots and He doesn't want to defy physics all the time.

this fallen world is filled with sin, but Go didn't make it that way. He made it perfect, without sin, but gave us free will, nd we chose to turn from Him. We all say, think, and do things which displease God, and that sin is what seperates us from His perfect heaven, where there is no pain, no suffering, no tears, no sin, no death. That wonderful place where you are.

And, each of us here on earth is only a single, sincere prayer of repentence away from eternal life. that prayer to Jesus is as easy as ABC - Admit you're a sinner and fall short of God's perfection, Believe Jesus Christ, God in flesh, died to take your punishment and rose from the dead, and Choose to Call on Jesus; Call on Him to save you from your sins, to forgive yu and come into your heart and make you new inside.

I have had the joy of leading people to Christ. Maybe someone reading this blog will pray that sinner's prayer, in their own words trusting Jesus Christ by faith to save them. I pray that they do.

The beauty is that kids below the age of accountability go to heaven anyway, because it is not by works but by grace we are saved; it is all becasue of His blood that was shed for us.

So, while I never got to share that love with you here on earth, I know God has you up therre with so much joy and fun and laughter and celebration, just as we'll celebrate one day.

And, I know that you love me, too. And, somehow, a small remidner came to me today. it was one of those times that the timing was so perfect it had to be God at work.

But, I always know you're there. It just helped me to remember that and focus ont he task at hand, reaching others with that wonderful Gospel message. Becaue I know my Redeemer lives. And, one say I shall see Him face to face. And see you.

I don't know if we'll have snow or anything up there - I'm not sure if we'll have weather, period. but, I know we'll have loads of fun. And, I can still hear, as easily as if you're sitting in my lap before bedtime, you saying, "Shhh, it's a surprise, Daddy." because that's how a photographic memory works.

I can't wait for that surprise King Jesus has waiting. And, I'm so glad you can be a part of it. If I don't post any more, you'll know I still care. But, if i do think about it, who knows. Maybe there'll be another little reminder; or maybe that will remain with me now as one. Helping me know you are up there waiting and I don't have to worry about awaiting one down here, though if the Lord opens the door I will adopt. But, i have a precious angel - actually, tehnicappy a precious little saint :-) - waiting to welcome me home.

Till we meet.

Love, Daddy.

Must have been quite a show up there

Hi, sweetheart.

Do you talk to angels? I'm just thinking of how one angel told John in Revelation he was John's fellow servant, and they talked to him because God had them delivering a special message; and, of course, Jesus Himself did, too. Same with when they spoke to others.

And, I'm just wondering, do we hang out with and talk to them when we get there?

Yeah, I know, I can so easily imagine you saying, "It's a surprise, Daddy." Just like I'd have to tell you if you'd been born and were bugging me for info about Christmas presents.

It must have been so amazing that first Christmas. Well, actually, it would have been 9 months before when God the Son, eternally God Himself, the 2nd person of the Godhead, stepped down into time and became flesh, when the Spirit overshadowed Mary like when a shadow comes over someone.

Then, of course, the angels became part of a plan to show a joyous celebration that must have been so amazing. Just think - normally it's just one angel appearing, or two, but then an angelic chorus was there in the fields. What an amazing cause to celebrate, the fact God had begun that plan to reconcile us to Himself through the cross.

Of course, you'd have always gone to Heaven because you died before you had a chance to enjoy life, before I could adopt you; just as any child does who dies before the age of accountability. But, because of that wonderful gift, and since I've trusted Jesus Christ to save me from my sins through what He did on the cross, taking the punishment for my sins, I know I'm going to Heaven. And, I'll have the greatest gift I can imagine - you. Even if I couldn't know you here on Earth, you've got the best sitter there is, and I know one day we'll be able to celebrate together.

Adoption really is special - the child comes from the parents' heart then, or is supposed to. And, that's the way God sees us.

When you think about it, God blessed the Jewish people, out of whom Messiah came, because it made sense to have an organized plan to show where Messiah would come from. But, He also adopted all of us - the Jews because he chose them, us Gentiles because we have been grafted in as His people.

We are forever on God's heart. We can celebrate Jesus so much because He not only died for our sins, He rose from the dead and is now in Heaven, forever interceding for us preparing a place for us, and many other things. Like watching over my little darling up there. :-)

I know, you know all this, but I think about how nice it would have been to celebrate and share this stuff with you here, and I thought I'd write a post that shares that now, anyway. Because you are very special to God and to me, more special than you can imagine. Biology doesn't count for everything - what matters is that we are in that person's heart. Just like we are in God's heart, and each of us is only a single, sincere prayer of repentance to Jesus Christ away from everlasting life.

I'm so glad to have that chance. I'm so glad the Lord led me to trust Him to be able to adopt despite my financial struggles and handicaps. And, he rewarded that faith. Maybe we're not together this Christmas. But one day, we will have forever together. And for now, I'll celebrate with family and friends, and enjoy knowing the Lord is watching out for us. Because this isn't just a celebration of family and good times. It's the birthday of the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. For unto us is born this day, in the City of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

enjoy the fun up there, Sweetheart. Till we meet.

Love,
Daddy